Hello:
So this will be our fall finale. I don't think I'm going to have a Christmas Eve Special this year, because in the immortal words of Randy Jackson, I'm not feeling it dawg.
I don't know what it is, I'm sure the majority of it is the pandemic, and the fact that I'm not going to get to see most of my family (at least not in the traditional sense) for Christmas. Maybe it's the fact that the numbers are going back up and I'm afraid that we will be back in crisis mode at our hospitals again. Whatever it is, I'm having a real hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. And I'm plum out of ideas for something fun and interesting to write about on Christmas Eve.
The Christmas Eve spectacular was born out of having to work at the Post Christmas Eve 2016. With the office half empty and nothing shaking in the city that night, I basically amused myself by ranking my favorite holiday songs, and creating one of my own. I also found a clip of Paul McCartney playing Who Wants to be a Millionaire that aired Christmas Eve 2004.
I haven’t even felt like I’ve been inundated with Christmas Music. Mariah’s insipid All I Want For Christmas is You, is once again the Number one song on the Billboard Hot 100, but I haven’t even heard it that much. Maybe I’m doing a better job of tuning it out.
The car companies as usual are running their tone deaf TV ads. Buick has an especially obnoxious one with folks gifting themselves new cars. Great idea in the middle of an economy crushing pandemic.
Maybe I’ll come up with something before Thursday, but right now, I’m tapped out.
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A couple of people asked me if I’d be interested in having my picture taken getting the vaccine in order to promote getting vaccinated. I'm all for the vaccine, and I'll go on record saying that here.
But taking a picture of me getting a shot is not going to help that endeavor, I can tell you that. What the world doesn't need is a picture of Wild Bill getting a shot in his left arm while turning his head all the way to the right. I have nothing against the vaccine, I'm just a complete wimp when it comes to needles. That's why I could never be a smack addict. Closing in on 50, I can tell you I have never done an illegal drug in my life. The closest I've come to illegal drug use is underage drinking, (and the statute of limitations is expired on that-thank you WM legal dept.)
But even if I was so inclined, I couldn't do anything that involves a needle. Forget it. When I get my annual flu shot, I look the other way. About the only time I could tolerate a needle was when I was having my heart issues. Needles don't bother you when your chest feels like an elephant is doing the Macarena on it.
No, someone else is going to have to be the poster child for the COVID-19 vaccine. Someone braver and tougher than yours truly. That shouldn't be too hard to find.
Speaking of freaking out, remember a couple of years ago, I took Timmy to see Wonderama? One of the games they sometimes play is called Snake in a Can. The following story is called Snake in THE Can
SNAKE IN THE CAN:
The Post reported last week that a restaurant worker in Thailand was taking a bathroom when an 8 foot python crashed through the ceiling. It then tried to slither back through the hole it came into.
The worker, 35 year old Nop Powin was interviewed by London's Daily Sun, and provided the Sun with some photos of the incident. How this dude had the presence of mind to take these pics mid-deuce is beyond me. I'd have been out of there with my pants at my ankles.
Last September someone had a peck taken out of his pecker by a python while he was sitting on the toilet, this also happened in Thailand.
I'm not planning any trips to Thailand anytime soon, but if I do, I may have to hold it in for the duration of my stay. Failing that, I'll have to set new speed records for Potty trips. Either way, the simple pleasure of reading on the can is a no-go in Thailand.
FOOTBALL: Can’t Lose for Winning
I’ve been going back and forth on this all day.
I honest to God did not want the Jets to go 0-16. That’s a blemish that doesn’t ever go away. The 1-15 record from 1996 still is a sore spot for me.
But after that monstrosity, Bill Parcells came in and got the Jets to 9-7 the very next year and a shot at the playoffs in the season’s final game. The year after that, they were in the AFC Championship Game.
The so-called light at the end of the tunnel for the Jets had they gone 0-16 was that they could draft Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence who I got to watch carve up my beloved Fighting Irish on Saturday afternoon in the ACC Title game
So because the Jets Despite their best efforts to do otherwise, beat the heavily favored Los Angeles Rams on Sunday, and the Jacksonville Jaguars lost to the Baltimore Ravens, and the Jags have a softer schedule then does the Jets, if the season ended today it would be Jacksonville picking first in the draft and not Gang Green.
The more I thought about it, the more it ate at me. My college team had a chance to run the table and go undefeated, my pro football team had a chance to run the table and go winless and secure the top pick in the draft. And they both spit the bit.
So now, I have to hear about how Norte Dame is overrated, how they inflate their record by playing crappy teams, especially when they no doubt get their doors blown off by Alabama and that scuzzball coach of theirs Nick Saban on New Year's Day.
And the Jets? Well, look, hopefully somehow, someway the Jags can go out and beat the Bears this week, and the Jets lose their next two games and we can get the number 1 pick. The more likely scenario? Jacksonville lays down in their last two games, the Jets come close but lose their last two games, and Trevor Lawrence becomes the hero in Northeast Florida.
It never ends.
All right, sorry again for the delay. Had to get the Jets stuff off my chest. If anyone has any ideas for a Christmas Eve blog, feel free to make suggestions. Otherwise if we don’t post have yourselves a Merry Christmas.
Stay Safe
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