Weekly Mail October 26, 2025

 

Trouble in the NBA

Hi Everyone: 

Friday marked one month since we lost Mom.

What has struck me about these past 4 weeks is how fast the time has seem to have gone. If I could equivocate life to the workings of your classic VCR, the part of life where my son was born was like pressing the fast forward button*. These past 17 years with Timmy have flown by. 

But this past month has been something else. 

I was off on September 24 for an unrelated reason, and Mom passed that evening. I was home the next two days (Thursday and Friday) and off from the Post on Saturday. The wake was Sunday and the funeral Monday morning, the 29th. Those 5 days were a blur. I went back to work that Wednesday, and Mom was already gone one week. 

And it hasn't slowed down, even as things return to "normal" or whatever normal is.

I don't know if anyone else who lost a parent has that same feeling, that time, already flying, by started flying a whole lot faster.  

And that be where I'm at. 

Before we head into the rest of what is on my mind this week, just a programming note: I'm going to forego having an Election Day preview next week. I believe at this point you all have an idea of who I am going to vote for or support. If not, I'll put it this way, nothing has changed with me since 2021. My litmus test for candidates is still the same. So on Sunday, November 9th (or thereabouts) we'll have our election wrap-up, where we'll discuss the $hitShow NYC Mayor's race, the NJ Governors race, and maybe a race or two on Long Island. Hopefully by then, I'll be ready to jump back into the fight. 

For now, we have other matters to discuss.

THE NBA GAMBLING SCANDAL:

On Thursday morning former Knick player and current (for the time being) Trail Blazers coach Chauncey Billups, Terry Rozier of the Miami Heat were arrested. Rozier and former player Damon Jones were charged along with four others for (per the NY Times..)

using insider information about injuries and starting lineups to make fraudulent bets. Prosecutors say they encouraged others to make fraudulent bets, and laundered their winnings in multiple instances between December 2022 and March 2024. Mr. Rozier was also charged with rigging the outcome of a bet.

Billups was charged with running an illegal poker ring with apparent mafia ties. Per Yahoo.sports.com..

The individuals allegedly involved in running the illegal poker games — some of which include members of the Bonanno, Gambino and Genovese crime families — are accused of rigging contests in their favor. Individuals reportedly used secret cameras, contacts that could read marked cards and X-ray tables, among other methods, to cheat other players out of millions.

Billups' presence at those games was meant to legitimize them and make "victims believe that they were sitting at a fair table," New York City police commissioner Jessica Tisch said Thursday. Billups was reportedly aware of the scam, per U.S. Attorney Joe Nocella.

Billups wasn't charged in the sports betting indictment and Rozier wasn't indicted in the poker scheme, but others who were arrested were involved in both. 

While I'm by no means underplaying the issue facing Billups, the case against Rozier is especially disturbing if you are an NBA fan in particular or a sports fan in general. 

On March 23, 2023, Rozier was playing for the Charlotte Hornets, and came out of that night's game against the New Orleans Pelicans with an apparent foot injury. Before the game someone bet $14.000 that Rozier would finish under the number on a bunch of stats. The indictment indicated that Rozier tipped off a friend of his that he was going to pull himself from the game and that friend sold the info for $100,000. 

The investigation into Rozier has been going on for quite some time apparently. In April of 2024, Toronto Raptor Jorday Porter was banned from the NBA for life after an investigation found that Porter had no only given inside information to known gamblers, but also placed his own bets on NBA games, including three parlay bets involving the Raptors. 

I was going to do a whole thing about Porter, Shohei Ohtani and Pete Rose, but it became a behemoth to write about, especially the  Ohtani stuff. I still hope one day to deep dive into that situation. 

But now with Rozier indicted by the Feds, a very ugly monster has reared its head. On WFAN Friday morning, Greg Gianotti was saying something to the effect of, "people actually think this (Rozier/Billips situation) is because we are reading ads for Fan Duel". Well, maybe not, but you'd have to be more than a bit naive to think that not only having easy access to gambling on your phone, as well as all the major sports league all in bed with the gambling apps, would be a huge temptation for athletes to partake. 

This problem is going to get a lot worse before it gets better, if it gets better at all. (no pun intended). Wayne Gretzky, who doesn't exactly need the money, does ads for BetMGM. When I was a kid, Wille Mays and Mickey Mantle were banned from baseball for a few years because they took jobs as goodwill ambassadors for Atlantic City casinos. Both were long retired from playing and both were already enshrined in Cooperstown. Both were also reinstated in 1985 by Peter Ueberroth. Nowadays, Wille, Mickey and (for that matter) the Duke (Snider) would probably each have their own commercial deal with one of the betting apps.  

And I really don't have a good answer for any of it. 

WOODY JOHNSON'S BIG MOUTH

The Jets beat the Bengals on Sunday 39-38. A miracle of sorts, being that according to their owner, the team didn’t have an NFL ready quarterback. 

Coming out of the NFL Fall Owners Meetings in Manhattan last Tuesday, Jets owner/knucklehead Woody Johnson was asked if he thought coach Aaron Glenn could turn the team around.

Johnson replied that he felt Glenn had turned the defense around, and if he had left it at that, we could all go on our merry way. Instead, he kept talking..

"It's hard when you have a QB with the rating that he's got. I mean he has the ability, but something is just not jiving. But if you look at any head coach with a QB like that, your going to see similar results across the league. You have to play consistently at that position, and that's what we're going to try to do for the rest of the season."

The "he" Woody was referring to was Justin Fields. And as bad as that was, Woody wasn't done. (Unfortunately) 

"If we could just complete a pass, it would look good. ...You can't run the ball if you can't pass the ball. That's football 101."

Well thank goodness we have a football savant like Robert Wood Johnson IV, to explain to us peons what Football 101 is. 

And let's face it (and this was pointed out in several media takes on this) Woody isn't factually incorrect either. Before Sunday,  Fields has either been unwilling or unable to throw the ball downfield, at least not since Week 1 against the Steelers. It truly is a sad state of affairs that when Tyrod Taylor came into the game in the second half against the Panthers last Sunday and proceeded to throw two picks, I said to Timmy, "At least they were deep passes that got intercepted."  I mean do we see how low the f-ck-g bar has dropped around here? 

But the bigger point to me is that Woody's got some set of ba!!s going after Justin Fields. What the hell does he know about what makes a good quarterback? He's owned this team for 25 years and he's either had good quarterbacks he inherited (Chad Pennington) once great quarterbacks who were past their prime (Brett Favre, Aaron Rodgers) quarterbacks who weren't developed right by coaches Woody hired (Mark Sanchez, Geno Smith Sam Darnold,) and too many has-beens, never were's or never would be's to mention.    

I know there are people out there who are going to say that it's Woody's team and it’s his right to call them out if he's the one signing the checks. George Steinbrenner used to say that shit all the time. By the time he got himself kicked out of baseball (for the second time) in 1990, the Yanks had gone 12 years without a World Championship and 9 years without a playoff appearance. Maybe we can set Woody up with a Fan Duel account. Hopefully he laid the points and took the Bengals today.

Look, just because he can badmouth his QB doesn't mean he should. Especially since the main reason he took his shots at Fields were to defend the coach he hired. It's such a mess. Convicted Felon Captain Orange couldn't have made him Ambassador to Antarctica or something? SMH.

THE GIANTS CHOKE JOB

Was curious to see how Jaxon Dart would do against the Broncos top rated defense. And truth be told, he looked good. Unlike my Jets, the Giants may actually have themselves their QB of the future.

Unfortunately, their defense of the present forgot that NFL games go four quarters. 

It was the first time in 108 NFL games that a team leading by 19 points going into the 4th quarter lost the game, the first time in 1,602 NFL games that a team lost when leading by 18 or more points with six minutes or less to go in the game. 

They lost 33-32, and with all that, they would have still found a way to hang on, but that their kicker missed a pair of PAT's. They waited till Wednesday to cut him. I would have made him Uber back to New Jersey. 

And if you are a Giants fan reading this and thinking that you are being trolled by a Jets fan, please don't. I was rooting for the Giants, I certainly have no love for the Broncos. We need some good news in football around here. I want to see Dart and the Giants turn it around. But that was tough. The Jets never really had a shot against the Panthers, the Giants had that game in the bag. It was tough to watch. 

They were calling it the worst loss ever. (At least that was the back page headline in Monday's Post.) I remember the Giants blowing a big lead against the 49ers in a January 2003 playoff game. (The one and only time I ever saw my brother in law Steve blow his stack-he handles losses a lot better than his wife's brother does). I still think that was worse. But this one was right up there. 

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DIANE KEATON- 1946-2025

Diane Keaton's acting resume pretty much speaks for itself. Nominated for 4 Oscars, winning Best Actress for Annie Hall in 1978, 2 Golden Globe awards, Annie Hall and Something's Gotta Give. A multitude of iconic roles, including Kay Adams in the Godfather Trilogy. 

But as the outpouring of love came out upon the news of her death on October 11th, what struck me were the high profile relationships she had. She and Woody Allen worked together on several movies and were an item for a while. Her and Godfather husband Al Pacino dated on and off for years, finally breaking it off for good when Pacino wouldn't marry her. She also was in a relationship with Warren Beatty in the late 70's. And though there were rumors that she and Jack Nicholson got together after making Something's Got to Give, it turns out they were just good friends.

And with all of those relationships the term good friends popped up an awful lot as I read her obits. Good friends till she passed with Beatty, good friends till she passed with Allen, throughout all his trials and tribulations. Good friends with Pacino, who would say more than once these past few years he regretted not popping the question to Keaton. And Nicholson worked with Keaton on Somethings Gotta Give while he was dating much younger Lara Flynn Boyle and Kate Moss. 

In other words, in addition to being a phenomenal actress, she was a person anyone that anyone who knew her seemed to love her too. And  in this day and age, when almost everyone in Hollywood had some sort of baggage or skeletons in the closet, Keaton had none. She was just a good, down to earth person, who happened to be very very good at what she did. Which of course makes it even sadder that she's gone. 

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Upon purusing the Billboard Hot 100 Chart for the week ending October 18, 2025, the future Mrs. Travis Kelce herself, Taylor Swift** held the top 12 spots on the chart. Her latest album The Life of a Showgirl, became the first album to take all the top spots uninterrupted. The Fate of Ophelia gave Swift her 13th Billboard number one, only the Beatles, Mariah Carey, and Rhianna, are ahead of her. (She's tied with Drake and Michael Jackson, and one ahead of Madonna and the Supremes)***

Sirrius/XM 70's Channel plays reruns of American Top 40 with Casey Kasem every weekend, and on a few of those shows, Casey talks about how on the chart ending April 5, 1964, the Beatles had the top 5 singles on the Billboard Top 100. He usually added that he didn't expect to ever see that again. The rules and technology of course were much different back then. But still.

OK, that’s all he wrote.

Stay Safe,

and Have a Great Week

*Or nowadays, your DVR.

**More like Kelece is the future Mr. Taylor Swift if we are being totally honest here. 

***Somewhere along the line, they moved the official start of the modern day Billboard Hot 100 to August 17, 1958. The very first Billboard Book of Number 1 songs I had started in 1955 with Bill Haley and his Comets Rock Around the Clock as the first offiical Number One Song of the Rock Era. I bring this up because by moving the date up, that knocked a truckload of Elvis Presley number one songs off the record books. Far as I’m concerned, it’s the Beatles, Elvis and Mariah at 1,2,3 in the record books. 

Weekly Mail October 12, 2025

 

Hi Everyone:

The most important thing I am going to write this week, is thank you for calling, texting or responding to the post I wrote last week about my Mom. I can't thank you enough for all the kind words.  I've said it before and I will say it again, I very lucky for the family I have, and the friends that I have met along the way.  Very lucky indeed. 

And if I haven't reached out to you in some way shape or form, I promise I will very soon.

For now, I'm going to jump back into what I usually do on these pages, which is complain. 

Both our baseball teams are done for 2025.

At least one of our football teams are basically done. And I don't have a ton of confidence in the other one, though they pulled off quite the upset on Thursday night.

So let's start with our baseball teams

THE METS- Bob Raissman (who come to think of it hasn't written a column in a while) refers to sports talk radio, and the folks who call into it, as the Valley of the Stupid. And since I spent my morning commute listening to Boomer and Gio, and my drive home listening to Evan and Tiki, I am amongst the VOS that Raisman is referring to.

The question that came up amongst both shows was: Was this 2025 Mets collapse worse than the ones that took place in 2007 and 2008, or even 1998?  The consensus amongst the hosts was that yes, this one was the worst of all. 

And as bad as this season turned out to be, I have to disagree. 

Part of the reason for this is semantics. For what actually constitutes "a collapse"? 

On September 12, 2007, the Mets were 7 games up on the Phillies with 17 games to go. 

Three days later, my sister and brother in law tied the knot. The Mets lost that day to the Phillies, their lead shrinking to 4.5 games. My uncle in law Shawn, a huge Mets fan, asked at the wedding me if I was worried. 

How? They are still up. There is no way they are going to cough up that kind of lead. 

Two weeks later, their season was over. They were calling it the biggest collapse in MLB history. 

One year later, the Mets were once again in first place on September 15, albeit not nearly as far ahead. They still had a chance to make the playoffs as a Wild Card, but they lost the last game of the season and the Brewers won, giving Milwaukee the final playoff spot. 

In 1998, the Mets went into the last week of the season a game up in the Wild Card race. They led the Cubs by a game and the Giants by 4 games. They ended up losing their last 5 games and finishing out of the money. The way things shook out, had they won 1 of those 5 games, they would have forced a playoff. Two wins they would have clinched a spot. 

2007 was the worst as far as I am concerned. They had that division in their pocket. 1998 was bad too, losing 5 straight like that. By 2008, you almost kind of expected them to lose.

What happened this year to the Mets, at least from where I'm sitting, doesn't constitute a collapse. 

This was just bad baseball. They were a bad team. A gutless team. 

On June 13, the Mets were 45-24, in first place with the best record in the league. They went 38-55 from June 13 on, one of the worst records in all of baseball. 

That's no collapse. That's a bad team. 

Last week, the Mets let go of most of their coaching staff. Manager Carlos Mendoza was retained, but the hitting, pitching and fielding coaches were all fired. To me this is nothing more than feeding chum to the sharks. 

As I said in my last post before our summer break, the main blame for this season falls at the feet of team president David Stearns. He is the one who went into the season with a pitching staff full of retreads. He's the one who forced Mendoza to burn out his bullpen. If anyone deserves to lose their job, its him. 

The thing is, I still believe he is the best guy out there to build a winning team. Joe Beiningo was on WFAN on Saturday morning saying that the Brewers, who were still alive, seemed to he doing OK without Stearns. I'm wondering if Joe B thinks that Brewers team drafted itself. 

No I'm not ready to give up on Stearns just yet, but his rope just got a lot shorter. A team with a lineup like this and a payroll like this should not be on the outside looking into the playoffs. 

I had a bad feeling though going into that last game of the season. I was in Rockaway for my sister Kate's birthday, and I saw the Mets were winning against the Marlins and even more spooky, had only allowed Miami one hit. Go back to the second to last games of the 2007 and 2008 seasons, both against the Marlins. Both games featured dominant pitching performances from John Maine and Johann Santana respectively.  Only to go out and poop the bed the next day. 

And to have the Marlins party like it was 1999 all three times. The time in 2008 was especially nauseating, as the Mets were shutting down Shea Stadium that day, and had pretty much every living Met that mattered take the field for a post game ceremony. My dad and Kate were at that game and stayed for the ceremony. I have often tipped my hat to them for that, because I told them I would have been on 7 train even before Howie Rose began the festivities. 

The Marlins celebration apparently puzzled Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez, but again this is what the Marlins do. Their fanbase and city are made up of transplanted New Yorkers, it has to suck to be 2nd class citizens to a team that doesn't even play in your city. It's bad enough that the Mets are 2nd class citizens here in NY, but at least the Yanks also play here. The Marlins are just a cut rate franchise who probably should have been contracted. 

One more thing as we close the door on the 2025 Mets, all these past two weeks I've heard is they better re sign Pete Alonso. Well, I've got some bad news kids, not only do I not think they are going to resign him, I also don't want them to. Not after what he pulled after that last game in Miami.

While the Marlins were acting as if Rob Manfred was going to hand them a trophy, and the rest of his team was licking their wounds, Alonso told the gathered press that he was planning on opting out of his contract and re-entering the free agent market.

Really? You thought that moment was a good time to say that? 

Edwin Diaz, in the same situation as Alonso, at least had the common decency to say "You know, I'm going to take some time and discuss this with my family and my agent." We all know he's going to opt out, he'd be a fool not to. But to me at least he showed that he cared about his team and the fans. Alonso? He just cares about getting paid. Just the way his agent, Scott Boras taught him to. I've been told I'm overreacting to this (perish the thought) and maybe I am, but that to me was just bush league. He can go kick rocks. 

The Mets have finished with worse records. They had those aforementioned years where they fell apart and choked at the end of the season.

2025 will go down as one of the most disappointing and frustrating seasons, in Mets history. 

THE YANKEES- They managed to make it to the post season, even took care of business against their arch-rival Red Sox, including a brilliantly pitched game by their rookie sensation Cam Schlittler. But they ran into the Blue Jays who sent them packing in Game 4 of the best of five series.

I always say when it comes to writing about the Yanks, it's a bit unfair. Since I'm not as emotionally invested with them as I am the Mets, it could seem like what I write doesn't come from the heart. 

For example, my FB feed had several Yankee fans calling for the heads of both Brian Cashman and Aaron Boone. That is no surprise and in many ways I can't say I blame them. Cashman has been in charge for almost 30 years which is unheard of. Boone just completed his 8th year. Since they beat my Mets in 2000, they have played in 4 World Series, only winning in 2009. The others were 2001, 2003 and last year. Boone in his 8 years has only last year's WS against the Dodgers, and no rings. 

I get why fans would want them gone, and again, if they were both let go, I wouldn't call it a miscarriage of justice. But I also see that they have made the playoffs in 7 of Boone's 8 seasons (6 as far as I'm concerned because WM doesn't count the play-in game they had a few years back as a playoff game) and that they haven't had a losing season since the Bush administration.... the Bush 41 administration. That has to count for something. Right?

I also hear an awful lot about how Hal Steinbrenner doesn't care about winning, he's just looking to make a profit. I'm sorry man, I get the frustration, but seriously? They lost Juan Soto because they were outbid, supposedly by a luxury box. They then took the money they would have spent on Soto, and signed Max Fried, Paul Goldschmidt and Cody Bellinger, who all contributed big time to the Yankees playoff drive. The idea that Hal is only looking to make $$$ here is absurd. 

No, he's not writing season ending, "heads are gonna roll" screeds like his old man did, but again, I think that's more a question of style rather than substance. People don't remember the mid to late 80's where the fans were pleading with George to sell the team. you know who probably remembers that more than he'd like to? Hal.

I think he keeps Cashman and Boone around because he feels like stability breeds winning. And I know I've written that before and perhaps you believe I'm full of crap. But in my defense, I know a team around here that changes GMs and coaches/managers every couple of years and now own the longest streak of not making the playoffs in all of North American sports. And that team would be..

THE JETS- Per Wikipedia-

The Song Remains the Same is a 1976 concert film featuring the English rock band Led Zeppelin. 

It also could be the franchise motto for my football team. 

It's the same song since 2011. The Jets have had a grand total of 6 GM's and 6 head coaches since the last year they made the playoffs. They also have started 17 different quarterbacks. The singers change, but the song remains the same. 

What also remains the same is the team has been done in this year by penalties and turnovers. Aaron Glenn stood up there at his press conference and said, no more penalties and no more turnovers. I learned a while ago not to get excited about GM/Coaches introductory press conferences, but this one seems like a particularly bad joke. 

That game against the Cowboys last week was as bad as any game coached by Robert Saleh, Adam Gase or Todd Bowels. I'm not suggesting Aaron Glenn be fired after 6 games, but somewhere along the line the turnovers and penalties have to stop. 

They lost to the Broncos today in London. The good news is they only ruined my morning, I could go out and enjoy my Sunday. (Except for this  nor’easter they are talking about) 

There is a real good possibility they could finish 0-17. The song remains the same.

In the same time Woody Johnson has burned through all these GM's and coaches, Hal Steinbrenner has had one GM and two managers. The Yankees have made the playoffs in all but two seasons in that span. You guys want to trade owners? Woody for Hal, with a luxury box to be named later? 

THE GIANTS-I had every intention of writing off the Giants this week as well. They have only been slightly less repulsive as the Jets have been. The Jets gave the Steelers a run for the money on Opening Day, while the Giants got destroyed by the Commanders. After starting out 0-3, they turned to their prized Rooke QB Jackson Dart, who won his first start against the Chargers, lost to a bad Saints team, and then miracle of miracles knocked off the defending Super Bowl Champion Eagles Thursday night. That was impressive. 

I'm still not sure giving the ball to Dart was the right move here. Especially since GM Joe Schoen and coach Brian Daboll are operating under a playoffs or bust edict from owner John Mara. That's an awful lot of pressure for a rookie QB to handle. And when you see that former Giant Daniel Jones is amongst the league leaders in passing, and former Jet Sam Darnold led the Vikings to the playoffs last year, you think it might give the press pause around here to maybe not advocate for running young QB's out of town at the first sign of struggle. 

But if Dart keeps playing like this, the fans will be happy, the owner will be happy, the staff will keep their jobs and maybe they'll be some good news to report in sports in 2025. That's a huge IF though, and I'm still not ready to put the smart money on that happening. 

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Back to Jet quarterbacks for a second.. did you happen to catch what happened to Mark Sanchez last week? Or more to the point, what happened when Mark Sanchez decided to allegedly pick a fight with a 69 year old truck driver in the wee hours of last Saturday morning? 

It sounded at first like some maniac attacked the former Jets first rounder, but now it appears that Sanchez was the aggressor, and the truck driver stabbed him to save his own a$$. 

The hospitalized truck driver immediately filed a lawsuit vs Sanchez and Fox Sports because let’s face it, that’s the American way. The Sanchize is looking at 1-6 years up the creek. I’m very curious to see how this all shakes out. 

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I’m not going to get into the government shut down this week. I really don’t have the stomach yet to get back into the political debates. All I know is that the only people who aren’t getting screwed here are the politicians. That’s really the only thing that ever changes when you have these government shutdowns. 

Thank you again for all the kind words. You are all truly appreciated.

Stay Safe

and Have a Great Week

Weekly Mail Special: Mom

Hi Everyone:

By now, I'm sure that most of you know that my Mom, Ginny Gallagher passed away on September 24. She had really struggled the past few months. Obviously our family is still very sad as we try to adjust to her not being here.  

This is the eulogy I gave for her on September 29, the feast of Michael the archangel, her favorite angel. After that are a couple of links to her favorite songs for you to hum along to. 

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For Mom September 29, 2025

For someone who likes to write as much as I do, this should have been a snap. I should be able to come up with all the right words to pay tribute to our Mom. I’ve written tributes to family and friends who have gone before. It’s really the best way I have to say goodbye and to tell them what they meant to me.

 

But this is our Mom. The one who brought us into the world and the brought us up in it. Where do you start?

 

So I decided to start with my favorite story that Mom told us. She told it a few times and I never got tired of hearing it.

 

In the spring of 1968, Mom was a senior at St. Michael’s academy in Manhattan. One day Robert F. Kennedy was near her school.(not the guy that doesn’t want us to get vaccinated-I mean the original RFK) He was campaigning to be the Democratic nominee for  President that year. Kennedy was shaking hands along the way, and just as he got close to Mom, two grown men jumped in front of her to get a handshake from him.

 

Mom was in her St. Michaels uniform, the voting age at that time was 21, so she figured RFK had no reason to want to shake her hand, and she turned to walk away.

 

A second later, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Senator  Robert F. Kennedy extending his hand to her and thanking her for coming out to see him.

 

Weeks later, Senator Kennedy was assassinated at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. They flew his body to New York so he could lie in state at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. On a miserably hot sticky June day that turned into night,  Mom stood in line for 7 and a half hours just to walk by RFK’s casket. Not to kneel, not to say a prayer, to walk by and get a glimpse. That’s what a man who knew she couldn’t vote for him, but went out of his way to make sure he appreciated her being there, meant to her. 7 and a half hours in line, the month she graduated from high school.

 

That was my Mom.

 

At RFK’s funeral, Senator Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts eulogized his slain brother by saying…

 

“My brother need not be idealized or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life. To be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to end it. “

 

Mom was much more than a good and decent woman. She was remarkably smart, wickedly funny, incredibly strong, tough when she needed to be, but always, always always compassionate.

 

And above all else, Mom was cool. 

She studied to be a nurse because like RFK, she saw suffering and wanted to heal it. That particular journey ended around the time I was born, as he stayed home to raise myself, Krissy and Katie, but she went back to work in the schools, first as an assistant, then as a school secretary, and finally as a NYC DOE Parent coordinator. In every one of those roles, she made sure that no child’s needs went unattended to, that no parent’s questions or concerns went un answered or unaddressed. When she retired in 2015, the principal at the time told a story about how mom once said that her approach to the job was to assume that “every parent loved their kids as much as I love mine” The principal said that anybody who worked in a school should have that same approach.

 

And any kid who had a parent that loved them as much as Mom loved us should consider themselves very lucky.

 

When our Dad was in Vietnam, his supervisor from Chase had everyone in their department write letters to him. One young lady had just started there, and was the daughter of a purple heart recipient. Her father, John P. Raftery, was rescued after being on a boat that was sunk off the North African coast in 1943. Dad read her letter and couldn’t wait to meet her. When he came home badly injured, but spirit intact, he got back on his feet, and eventually dated and married that young new worker who wrote to him in Vietnam. Mom had a hero for a father and now had a hero as a husband. Neither Raffy or Dad ever referred to themselves as heroes, but Mom made sure everyone who met them knew that they were.

 

For Krissy, Katie and I no one was more loved, protected and fought for than we were. Every step of the way we knew who had our backs, who was willing to do whatever she needed to make sure were had whatever we needed, to make sure we were happy, but to also make sure we were kind, and respectful to others. I mentioned before she was tough when she had to be, and believe me, all four of us can vouch for that too.

 

Her happiest moments were with her grandchildren. She was crazy about Becky, Timmy and Rachel. In her eyes those 3 could do no wrong. More than once, Mom caught me shaking my head at something those kids did that would have landed Kate, Kris or myself in the proverbial doghouse, but made her laugh out loud.

 

“That's your problem, not mine Bill” she would say.

 

And that leads me to what her last great role in our family was.

 

To say we were all heartbroken in 2018 when we lost Becky doesn’t  even begin to cut it.  For all of us it was a time of darkness and despair, that of course stays with us to this day.

 

My birthday was about two weeks after, and a few days before, Mom called and asked what I wanted to do for it. What I wanted to do was roll up in ball and do nothing. I had a admittedly deserved reputation for making a big deal out of my birthday, but to me there was nothing to celebrate.

 

But Mom, in no uncertain terms told me that was not an option.

 

The selfish thing to do was to do nothing. We are a family, Mom said, and we need to be together as a family to celebrate birthdays, graduations and anniversaries. We are all in pain, but we can’t stop living. We need to be there for each other. So figure out what you want to do and where you want us all to meet up because one way or another we are going to get through this together.

 

And that's how we all ended up at Bungalow Bar for birthday brunch on August 5, 2018. Together, as a family. 

 

Now Mom and Becky are together again. It pains our hearts that they are not here with us, but it’s a comfort to know that they are probably having a blast together right now.

 

And she got to spend her last few years at her happy place, her Summer Place as it were. Mom had scores of friends that she made throughout her life and all of you hold a special place in her heart.

 

But these last few years, she got to spend more time with what the kids nowadays refer to as her OG’s. Her friends from Rockaway were truly life long. You all still refer to each other by your maiden names which always cracked us up. And again, whether you met her through St. Mary’s or worked with her in the schools or anywhere in her life, you were special to her.

 

One final thing…one day not too long ago, I was driving Mom home from a doctor’s appointment, and when we got to the bridge in Broad Channel, I called Kate to let her know we were close so that she and the aide could come down to get her. It was a simple conversation, Hey Kate, we’re at the bridge. OK Bill we’ll start heading down.

 

Out of nowhere and to no one in particular, mom yelled out “My kids are so nice!” I bring this up for two reasons: 

First, to tell my two sisters how blessed I am to have them. All that you guys did this past year especially was nothing short of phenomenal. I described Mom as smart strong tough and compassionate, and you guys are the embodiment of that. And Steve and Tara, thank you for all your support and love. We are lucky that you are our family.

 And Dad, my goal is to be as good a dad to Timmy as you are to us  and as good a husband to Tara as you were to Mom. But those are high goals because you are the best.  

 

But mostly, I think what Mom was trying to say that day was that she had done a good job with us.

 

Yes you did, Mom, you did an amazing job. You fought for us every step of the way.

 

You’re fight is now over. You’re job is done. It’s time for you rest. We will be OK from here. We’ll miss you terribly and wish you were here, but we know you are with us always.

 

Thank you Mom. We love you.  

 

Thank you. 

Theme from a Summer Place

The Irish Blessing

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To everyone who reached out, either by text, phone call, e-mail or social media, please know that every one of those messages were read and appreciated, and that I will get back to each of you as soon as I can. And if you came to the wake or funeral, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I apologize if I didn't get to talk to you as much as I wanted to. 

I ask for your prayers and good thoughts. And I appreciate every single one of you. 

God Bless, Stay Safe 

and Have a Great Week.