Weekly Mail May 28, 2017

Hello:

What a week this was....



TERROR IN MANCHESTER:

         Was taking Timmy to basketball the other night when that horrible news from Manchester, England came over. 22 dead, scores injured when a suicide bomber blew himself up at an Ariana Grande concert. Most of the victims, young kids.

           I've said this before and I'm sorry to say it again; you certainly don't have to be a parent to understand the horror, to feel the pain of what happened Monday night. But if you are a parent, it hits home a bit harder. I never would have agreed with that statement before Timmy came around, but it's the truth. The first time I really remember feeling that was after the Sandy Hook Massacre. One of the papers had all the pictures of the little kids who were senselessly killed on the front page, and all I saw were 14 pictures of my son looking back at me. I know I'm not the only one who goes through that.

           I went after Ariana Grande a couple of years ago after she said she hated Americans because they didn't take care of themselves (she was partially right about that) but I felt bad for her the other night. She seemed to be carrying a ton of guilt over what happened, and while it may be natural for her to feel that way, this was obviously not her fault. (A-hole conservative bloggers notwithstanding). Grande has offered to pay for the victims funeral costs and to her credit has vowed to come back to Manchester to play again. Good for her.

           Another thing I always say is that President Bush had it right when he said "We have to be right every time. They have to be right once."  ISIS is obviously still very much in business, and the fight against them must go on.

It's just always jarring when we get the reminder.


OBITUARIES:


I swear, since I sat down to write this, I heard that Jim Bunning and Greg Allman have died. Bunning pitched in the major leagues for the Tigers, Phillies, Pirates, and Dodgers over a 17 year career. He then went on to a long career in politics, serving in both houses as a Representative of Kentucky. He seemed to have a hard time keeping his foot out of his mouth in his later years in the Senate. That, and his low poll numbers led him to retire rather than run for a third term in 2010. As a Met fan, I'm familiar with Bunning having been one of the pitchers to threw a perfect game against us, on Father's Day 1964 at Shea.

Greg Allman of course was the Southern Rock pioneer and co-founder of the Allman Brother's Band. Also was married to Cher for a while. Not a big Allman Brother's fan here, but have to give them props for their contribution to Southern Rock. You can't go more than a day or two without hearing Ramblin Man being played somewhere.

Speaking of Cher; I went to high school with a dude who had a crush on Cher, and he got his balls busted pretty good for it too (amongst other things). But seeing her at the Billboard Music Awards last week, I have to say she looked pretty damn good considering she's 71 years old.


The obit I WAS planning to write was about Sir Roger Moore, who died Tuesday at age 89. Last year while I was in cardiac rehab, I went with the guys to see Spectre, and for the rest of my sessions, James Bond talk dominated. Of course you can't discuss James Bond without debating who was the best Bond. I always found that those who first saw Sean Connery as Bond go bat$hit if you suggest anyone else was better.

I think that you relate to the Bond that you first saw in the movies. For me, that was Roger Moore.

I remember watching Octopussy on HBO with some friends in Rockaway. The scene when he was fighting in India and he pulled the sword out of the sword swallower's mouth, killed his opponent, then told the sword swallower that he "better put this back yourself" was a classic. He brought more humor to the role than did Connery or those who came after him. Sean Connery may have been the greatest Bond ever, but Moore was my favorite. Plus he was in one of my all time favorite movies, The Cannonball Run. For that alone, he's was the man.



WAR CRIMES: No this is not about Dick Cheney, so please relax..

On line this week, a few of my St. Mary's classmates were discussing our 5th Grade trip to Philadelphia. Of course as it usually happens many funny stories came up and a few horror stories. As Keri DeAngelo pointed out,

"We went to school under a trestle, a block from a strip club and a no tell-motel/homeless shelter. We never needed street cred!

So you think one of us geniuses would have come up with this idea 35 years or so ago...

Ava Bell, an 11 year old girl from Glasgow, Scotland suggested on a student feedback form that her teacher violated the Geneva Convention by collectively punishing the class for one person's misbehavior. According to the BBC Online....

Asked what her teacher could do better, Ava Bell wrote: "Not use collective punishment as it is not fair on the many people who did nothing and under the 1949 Genva [sic] Conventions it is a war crime."

That's right folks, little Ava essentially called her teacher a war criminal.

My family is still very good friends with my third grade teacher. But should she be sent to the Hague for making us all chip in 10 cents after someone swiped Jenny Tsai's Hello Kitty pencil case?  My fourth grade teacher admitted I wasn't being disrespectful when she made me and the rest of the boys write 300 times "I must not be disrespectful in class." Where's the tribunal for her?

The possibilities are endless. St. Mary's was the capital of collective punishment.

Ava admitted that her teacher was awesome save for this one issue she has. And again, I met Mrs. McArdle last year on a rare trip to St. Mary's church and was thrilled to introduce Timmy to her (and to Mrs. McNamara, who I also love, but who also made me stay after school for something I didn't do.) I'm lucky to have had them in my life, but THEY are lucky Ava Bell wasn't one of their students, or they might be facing the firing squad.

********************************************************************************


On this Memorial Day, I once again quote from For the Fallen by British Poet Laurence Binyon. Sadly, it could apply to the kids in Manchester this week as well.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: 

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. 

At the going down of the sun and in the morning 

We will remember them.

Have a Great Week

Weekly Mail May 21, 2017

Hey Evwybody!


Sorry again about not posting last week. Didn't realize it till I started writing this week's masterpiece. Hopefully we'll get this one out on time.


Let's start with some obituaries...


Chris Cornell- I hate to write an obit about someone I don't know that much about, but the outpouring of sadness after his death was announced was something I couldn't overlook. Sure, I've heard Black Hole Sun a million times just like everybody else, but Audio Slave wasn't exactly front and center in my music library.  It's sad, nobody should die by their own hands, especially someone that young and that talented. It's a scary reminder of how we just never know what is going on behind closed doors, symbolic or otherwise.


Roger Ailes-There was also an outpouring upon the announcement of Ailes death, but admittedly, it wasn't nearly as sentimental as was the reception Cornell's death received. This was in no small part because of the accusations of sexual harassment that were still unresolved at the time of his death, and also because his made a ton of enemies during his rise to the top.
      But what also needs to be acknowledged is the man built a billion dollar cable news network from scratch. And love him or hate him, the numbers don't lie. Fox News has ruled cable news for a long time.
        One afternoon during the 2004 RNC which was right here in New York, I was up at the Post, when I looked out the window and saw about 200 people standing on the sidewalk on 6th Avenue. I went down to see what was going on, and they were all yelling at the building "Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up! I found a bunch of my fellow Posties standing near the doors laughing. "I happen to agree with them" one of my colleagues said.
          I thought they were nuts. Who protests a news network? You don't like what they showing, change the f-cking channel! It's like when Timmy goes outside, I don't sit there and complain about SpongeBob, I put something else on, sometimes even Fox News!**
       But that's what Ailes wrought, for better or worse, you either loved him or you hated him, loved or hated his network. And if you hated it, you  couldn't just change the channel, you sat there and swallowed it. Then you went and complained. In some weird way, you have to give him credit for that.

**though now that I think about it, I still listen to Mike Francessa even though he says all this stuff that pisses me off. Still, I wouldn't g outside WFAN and protest. Even when I had time on my hands, I wouldn't think to do that.


NBA- The unLuck of the draw..

Most of the sports written on this blog is lamenting the sorry state of my $hitty teams. Whether it be the Mets and their perpetual injuries, the Jets and their myriad of woes, the just coming up short Rangers, and the sorry state of the Knicks and St. Johns. there is no shortage of misery.

But one of our locals who are not one of my teams had a REAL crappy week last week. And that would be your Brooklyn Nets.

In 2013, they made one of those go for broke trades in which they gave up future draft picks to the Celtics for aging vets Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett. Not only did the Nets record not improve with the deal, it got steadily worse. The past two seasons, they have finished in the bottom of the league standings. This year they were the worst team in the sport.

But because Boston had the rights to their draft pick, if the Nets won the draft lottery, the pick would go to Boston. And wouldn't ya know, that is exactly what happened.

Everyone was up in arms because the Knicks went from 7th to 8th in the draft, but shoot at least they have a pick, the Nets have bupkis. And the Celtics who BTW are still playing (albeit having their a$$es handed to them by LeBron and the Cavaliers). now have the number 1 pick in the draft.

Being a Knick fan sucks, being a Nets fan? I can't even imagine... (well maybe I can).


***BOOK REVIEW ***BOOK REVIEW ***BOOK REVIEW***BOOK REVIEW

BOOK:Letterman; The Last King of Late Night
AUTHOR:Jason Zindman

I was really looking forward to this book. Two of my all time favorite books were The Late Shift and The War for Late Night by Bill Carter. Both of those books put you right in the action with all the shenanigans that went on between Johnny Carson, Jay Leno and David Letterman in 1991-92, and then Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno in 2009.

This book had a few interesting tidbits about David Letterman and his long career, but I found that it dragged at times. Even describing how he came up with some of his classic skits was dull. Usually, when dealing with someone who was so clearly an innovator, it's fascinating to see the thought process that went into creating said skits. This book didn't do that, at least not for me it didn't. Instead it seemed to take great lengths to describe how difficult he was to get along with, which wasn't exactly a news bulletin.  I don't know, maybe I'm being too harsh, you may like it if you were a big fan of Dave, but I found the book quite dull.

Two Auggies.


Think that's all we got from here folks

Have a Great Week

Weekly Mail May 14, 2017

Happy Mother's Day:



         Didn't publish last week because of Timmy's communion, which turned out to be a glorious day. We ended up with fantastic weather (which wasn't predicted) a very well done ceremony, and the reception was a great time had by all. I can't believe how the times flies, seems like just yesterday we baptized the little guy, now he's getting so big on us. Once again, as David Letterman used to say I'm pulling a Kathie Lee, but if you can't do that when your kid makes communion, when can you?


R.I.P.


1) The Rangers.

So I know I had said that I didn't really think they would beat the Canadiens, so by that logic, I shouldn't be that bummed that they lost to the Senators.

Except that I believe Ottawa wasn't as good as Montreal, and the Rangers had not only ample opportunity to win this series, they really should have put those bums away in 5 games.

Game 1 they lost on a fluke, nothing you can do about that. Games 2 and 5 however, were games they had no business losing. They blew a pair of two goal leads in Game 2, and then they were less than 2 minutes away from winning Game 5, when Derrick Brassard of all people, tied it up.

I had just gotten home from the communion as OT was starting and when Michael Grabner appeared to win it, I breathed a sigh of relief. But then they said it was a high stick so the goal didn't count. At that point I knew we were f-cked.

And we were.

Then to add insult to injury, they came out sleepwalking in Game 6, only turning on the jets for the third period by which time it was too late.

I deliberately didn't take to social media after the game too rant because I wanted to wait till I cooled off before I started offering suggestions. But even after 4 or 5 days, one thing hasn't changed.... I believe the Rangers need to make a coaching change. Like immediately.

Alian Vinegualt's success as Rangers coach is hard to quibble with.... In his four years, they have made the playoffs all 4 times, with a trip to the Finals, Conference Finals, and then a first and second round exit respectively. They have played the second most playoffs games (behind Chicago) of any team in the last 5 years, and the most playoff games without winning a Cup.

You know what that means? Nothing!

In Game 2, Brady Skjei scored two goals, he was by far their best player that game. Yet AV only played him 5 minutes in the entire two overtimes, relying on a washed up Marc Stall instead. Why you would bench your best player is beyond me.

Then in Game 5, he said that it seemed like the players didn't realize there was an extra attacker on for Ottawa in the waning seconds of the third period. Dude, I've never played an organized game of hockey in my life, and even I know that when you are up by one and the game is winding down that the other team is going to pull their goalie. How are the players not prepared for that? That's a lack of preparation. That is on the coach.

And to come out as flat as they did, knowing their season was on the line for Game 6? Well that was the final straw for me. AV has to go. It's just like with Willie Randolph for the Mets in 2007. I told you all he needed to go then and I was right. Both those Mets and these Rangers laid down when the going got tough. I didn't question Randolph's baseball knowledge and I don't question AV's hockey knowledge. But both men were stubborn in their approaches, and both men cost their teams a shot at further glory.

Someone asked, "Well if you let him go, who do you get to replace him?" Well, a two time Stanley Cup winning coach was just fired in Los Angeles, so maybe that's a good place to start.

Boomer Esiason, on his WFAN Morning show, told a caller who suggested AV be shit-canned that "someone would grab him up in 10 minutes." Good. Let him be someone else's headache.

Au Revior.


2) The Sports Reporters

Last Sunday, the Sports Reporters had their final show, meaning that besides the occasional 30 for 30, ESPN has officially become unwatchable.

Couple of weeks back, ESPN laid off over 100 workers, including on air talent. They decimated what was left of their hockey department and college football took a big hit. They are now hanging their hopes on their 6 PM Sportscenter with boring Michael Smith and Jemele Hill.

As for the Sports Reporters, Page Six reported a couple of months back that Mike Lupica's diva-ness qualities was one of the chief reasons the plug was pulled on the show. Truth of the matter is that the show probably jumped the shark a while ago, and John Saunders untimely death just exacerbated that fact. Still, when I went to my DVR on Sunday morning, it was tough not seeing it there.

Speaking of Divas, it was a tough week if your last name was Harvey.



DIVAS-The misadventures of Matt and Steve

Here's the Story
Of two guys named Harvey
One's a pitcher the other has a show
One of them's a drunken lush
And the other
Tells his staff to go blow..

Matt Harvey was supposed to pitch last Sunday against the Marlins. Instead, he was suspended for three games. Typical of the Mets, they didn't say why, leaving it for the intrepid NY Media to retrace his steps from the previous few days. Indeed, it turned out that Harvey, dejected after being dumped by Adriana Lima, decided to head to 1Oak in the Meatpacking district to drown his sorrows in expensive booze last Friday night. He was able to stumble out for a round of early morning golf, but was unable to make it to Citi Field for Saturday night's game. The unexcused absence is what prompted the suspension.

Now I was, still am down on Harvey, I think he's a pain in the a$$ and probably more trouble than he'll ever be worth, but at this point, what are you going to do with him? He doesn't make a ton of money, so he's not a financial burden, you can't trade him, no one will give any value for him, The only thing you can do for this poor bastard at this point is get him clean (if necesary) get him sober and get him turned around. Then you can either trade his a$$, or hopefully watch him finally contribute.


Then later in the week, an interoffice memo from the set of the Steve Harvey show was leaked. We all know Steve Harvey as the affable, smiling host of Family Feud, Little Big Shots and his own syndicated program. But a different side of Big Steve emerged this week.

Good morning, everyone. Welcome back.

I’d like you all to review and adhere to the following notes and rules for Season 5 of my talk show.

There will be no meetings in my dressing room. No stopping by or popping in. NO ONE.

Do not come to my dressing room unless invited.

Do not open my dressing room door. IF YOU OPEN MY DOOR, EXPECT TO BE REMOVED.

My security team will stop everyone from standing at my door who have the intent to see or speak to me.

I want all the ambushing to stop now. That includes TV staff.

You must schedule an appointment.

I have been taken advantage of by my lenient policy in the past. This ends now. NO MORE.

Do not approach me while I’m in the makeup chair unless I ask to speak with you directly. Either knock or use the doorbell.

I am seeking more free time for me throughout the day.

Do not wait in any hallway to speak to me. I hate being ambushed. Please make an appointment.

I promise you I will not entertain you in the hallway, and do not attempt to walk with me.

If you’re reading this, yes, I mean you.

Everyone, do not take offense to the new way of doing business. It is for the good of my personal life and enjoyment.

Thank you all,

Steve Harvey

Well then...

What makes this worse is that Harvey's show is moving from Chicago to Los Angeles, meaning that the staff that this memo is being directed at is most likely going to be out of work anyway. Indeed most suspect the memo was leaked by a disgruntled soon to be ex staff member.

What a tool he looks like here! And the explanation he offered was more like a doubling down than an apology. If he wants more free time, give up one of your shows. Right now, you just look like a spoiled chump.

Sorry, I'm a bit salty this week. The Rangers, the Mets, Donald Trump (in that order)

Hope all the Mom's out there had a wonderful day

Have a Great Week!