Of Parenting and Primates

I usually would wait to put my $0.02 in about what happened at the Cincinnati Zoo over the weekend till I write my blog on Saturday night. But I couldn't sit on this. It wouldn't be fair.

I believe that I am uniquely qualified to weigh in on this. You may not be aware of this, but you need to understand something;  at one time, I was on my way to becoming the greatest parent in the history of mankind. Seriously, I going to punch my ticket to the Fatherhood Hall of Fame, right there with Ben Cartwright, Mike Brady and Cliff Huxtable (well maybe not him).

I knew it all man, I had all the answers..... You lost your kid on the beach? How could you take your eyes off of them? The kid climbed out of the crib and cut their head? Why didn't you make the railings higher? Fell down the stairs? Fell off their bike? Got lost at the supermarket? What kind of parent are you? I would never let that happen, of course not. I was the Greatest!  The Mohammad Ali of Parenting.

And with my uncanny ability to remember dates, I can tell you the very day, the very moment I stopped being the G.O.A.T. The day my HOF career as a dad ended.

August 30, 2008 about 10:30 in the morning.  The day Timmy was born. 

That day, my reign as king of the dad's ended. The day I actually became a dad. Because that's the day I realized I didn't know anything.

And every day since, I am reminded at least once, how the mighty have fallen.

Some days are more memorable than others. There was the day in Rockaway that he spotted someone two beaches over with a Mickey Mouse beach bag and took off, yelling "Kickey, Kickey, Kickey." He was halfway there before I realized he was gone.

And and BTW... if I had a nickel for everyone who told me that Timmy "sure has a lot of energy" I would be going to the beach on Parrot Cay. Because in addition to laser like vision, Timmy also possesses Ludacris Speed.

Then there was the night I turned away for what couldn't have been more than 30 seconds, where he climbed up on a chair and fell off, causing a small fracture of his leg. Yep because in addition to having  X-ray vision and ."a lot of energy" he was also strong enough to pull over a chair.

People ask me all the time, "Are you going to have another one?" Right, because I'm doing such a bang up job with the one I have. Another? I'm lucky they haven't taken the one I have away from me.

My point is that all these yahoos who are screaming that they should have shot the mother of this child who had this rendezvous with Magilla
Gorilla instead of the gorilla itself should take a chill pill. Yes, it's a shame the gorilla had to be killed. Yes I wonder why they couldn't tranquilize the gorilla as opposed to killing him.

Yes, the mother is at fault. Guess what, that could have happened to any of us.

"Not I" you say? Ok, maybe your kid isn't Usain Bolt the way mine apparently is, but kids by nature are quick, kids are sneaky. Even the best of us, even the most eagle eyed of us, lose sight of our kids at one time or another.

I'm not even going to entertain the animals are people too crowd who would have done anything to keep the gorilla alive, even at the expense of the child's life.  This wasn't some 18 year old frat house kid looking to impress his friends. It was a little boy.  I'm sorry the gorilla is dead, but not as happy as I am the boy was alright.

There were lots of reactions to this story.

Mine was "There but for the Grace of God go I"

Weekly Mail May 29, 2016

Hello:

I hate to start this post off on a sad note, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention the passing of my cousin, Eileen Raftery.

Eileen's dad and my maternal grandfather were first cousins. Eileen was born two weeks after me, and despite the fact that we were almost exactly the same age and lived mere blocks from each other, I didn't hang out with her much. She was a brainiac and besides our age and our bloodlines, we didn't have a whole lot in common.

But last year, at my cousin Deirdre's wedding, we caught up. She got to meet Tara, and they really hit it off. She got to meet Timmy and who doesn't hit it off with him? We talked about our jobs and where we were living, and we even went out and danced a bit. (Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners naturally).

We talked about getting together, either out near us at her place downtown, but of course, as life happens, it never came to pass. You just kind of think, Well it will happen when it happens. And then something like this happens. You just never know.

In some ways it would be easier if my last memory of her was an argument, or no real memory at all. But since the last memory I have of her was positive, it makes me think of what might have been. But I'd rather have the warm memory of laughing and dancing at the wedding. Either way, nobody should have to die at such a young age. That just sucks.

*********************************************************************************

Wednesday will mark the one year anniversary of when IT happened. June 1, 2015, a day that will be forever etched in my mind.

I was really hoping that on this day, I would be rocking a lean and cut figure, but unfortunately, I have reached the dreaded plateau.

But there are still things to celebrate. On Wednesday it will be one year since I last had a soda, something I never thought I'd be able to pull off. It will be over a year since I ate McDonalds or Burger King, (I had Wendy's once, and Taco Bell maybe three times). I haven't eaten a hot dog in well over a year. (I may have one celebratory dog this week.)

Plus I get to the gym at least three times a week. I may have to mix up my exercise routine to re kick start my weight loss, but I'm keeping the ticker pumping.

Most importantly I want to thank my family, especially Tara and Timmy, and everyone else for their love and support. I couldn't have bounced back without you.


2016 ELECTION.

Donald Trump won last Tuesday's Washington State Primary, which wasn't news since everyone else has dropped out. What was news was that somewhere along the line on Thursday, it was announced that thanks to those annoying Super Delegates, Trump clinched the nomination. He will be nominated on the first ballot at the Republican Convention in Cleveland.

Every election cycle, folks bellyache about changing the system. Get rid of the delegate process, eliminate the Electoral College, make it one national primary day etc. I'd leave it the way it is, but Geez Louise, can we please get rid of this super delegate system? Letting party big shots choose a candidate regardless of the will of the people is just plain wrong. To see Bernie Sanders win state after state, and yet he can't close the gap with Hillary Clinton because she has more Super Delegates is very disheartening.  Finding out that Donald Trump clinched the nomination on a day where no election was held smacks of corruption.

While it's true that both Trump and Clinton would have won even without the super delegates, it made the elections (especially in the case of the Democrats) look more lopsided than they really were.

SPORTS: The NBA Playoffs:

If I were to compose a list of my least favorite athletes of all time, it would probably take me a month to compile a list. (Note to my co-editor Karl "the Ace" Ludwig; I realize upon reading that line your first reaction was "ok I got this" )  I mean the obvious ones are Chipper Jones and John Rocker in baseball, After last night Chase Utley is right up there) Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in football, Denis Potvin and Bryan Trottier in hockey, (though Sidney Crosby is right up there too)

In basketball though, it's Michael Jordan. Rocker, Chipper and Belichick are despicable human beings. (if you even want to call Rocker a human being) Brady I hate because he's good and he dumped one hottie (Bridget Moynihan) for another (Giselle Bundchen.)  Trottier was one of the dirtiest stickhandlers of all time and all you need to know about Potvin is that they still chant his name at MSG...30 years after he retired.

But Jordan is on a whole other stratosphere. His Bulls teams sent my Knicks packing for the summer 5 times. It still drives me nuts when people say he is in-arguably the greatest basketball player of all time, it even drove me more batty when ESPN declared him the greatest athlete of the 20th century.  People told me I was crazy not to think Jordan wasn't the G.O.A.T. I pointed out to those people that Jordan wasn't the NBA all time leading scorer (Kareem Abdul Jabbar) he doesn't hold the record for most points per game in a season (Wilt Chamberlain) and when they scream that he won 6 titles, I scream back that Bill Russell won 11.

And while many also thought him to be a tremendous person, I found him to be aloof and at times downright rude. Was it exciting to watch him play? Sure, he was amazing. So was Dr. J.

So, it would really do my heart some good if the Golden State Warriors would put the finishing touches on their record breaking 73-9 season and win this year's NBA title. The previous record was the 72-10 put up by you guessed it Jordan and the Bulls in 1996. The Bulls pretty much rolled to that years NBA title.

Not so the Warriors. After waltzing through their first two series against the Rockets and the Trail Blazers, they suddenly found themselves trailing their Western Conference Final series, 3-1 against the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Fortunately, they bounced back the other night in Oakland, and then again last night at OKC, to force a Game 7 in Oakland on Monday night.

If the Warriors can't win that one, or they lose to LeBron and the Cavs in the Finals, they are going to end up being compared to the 2007 Patriots and the 2001 Seattle Mariners, teams that set records for most wins in a season, but couldn't git er done in the playoffs. And the 1996 Bulls will remain as the greatest NBA team of all time.

Sonofabit----  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK4j88PvLyg


On this Memorial Day Weekend, I leave you with this..

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

from For the Fallen by British poet Robert Laurence Binyon.

To all who have served, but especially those who gave their lives; thank you and God Bless

Have a Great Week

Weekly Mail May 22, 2016

Hey There:


So I took the last two weeks off to attend communions, one for my buddy Ethan, the other for my gal Taylor. Ethan is Timmy buddy from school, and Taylor is the daughter of Mary and Frankie LeBourhis, my lifelong friends from Queens.

Taylor's communion gave me a chance to catch up with two of my three nieces (Becky and Rachel) and of course with Ray and Maureen, Karl and Trish and Auggie and Mary.  Thankfully we kept the political banter to a minimum. But for now, back to the political banter.



THE 2016 ELECTION:

Since last we spoke, Ted Cruz and John Kasich dropped out of the race, so the path is now clear for Donald Trump to clinch the nomination. As of this writing, Trump is 134 delegates away from clinching the nomination prior to the convention. Of course the question now is, will Cruz, Kasich Rubio et al rally around Trump? Or will the party remain fractured.

Speaking of fractured parties, the Democratic party, the one we were told were the adults in the room, the one that would provide the united front. is, well, NOT!    Hillary Clinton is close to clinching the nomination for the Dems, but that pest Bernie Sanders just refuses to drop out. Yes, Hillary has by far the most delegates, but every time I turn around, Bernie's winning another state. By my count, Hillary has won 23 states (and three territories) and Bernie has won 20 states (and Americans Abroad).

Jonathan Chait in New York Magazine wrote an article that was critical of Sanders:

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/05/bernies-revolution-stops-for-no-one.html

What I gathered from this article, is that Chait is suggesting that Sanders and his campaign is guilty of having sour grapes, and they should just step aside and give Hillary the nomination. Which is funny, because that's exactly what the DNC wants him to do, and it's also something Chait doesn't mention in the article...how badly the DNC stacked the deck against him.

DNC chief Debbie Wasserman Schultz has bent over backwards to make sure Hillary wins the nomination. Sanders and Maryland governor Martin O'Malley were just supposed to be token opponents in the coronation. O'Malley did his part, but Bernie found himself with a following maybe even he didn't think he's have. Time and time again though, the DNC has screwed him over, not the least of which has been the use of super delegates, delegates independent of the primary voting process who have been overwhelmingly in Hillary's favor.

While it's true that Hillary has the lead even without the super delegates, it's a hell of a lot closer without them. Folks who might be inclined to vote for Bernie if they thought he might have a chance to win are now either voting for Hillary, or worse, not bothering to vote at all.

And people wonder why Trump is so popular? Some people say it's President Obama's fault that Trump has been able to rise. I disagree. I believe that the will of the people is being severely tested by the Democratic party. There is no worse feeling in the world than feeling like your vote doesn't count. If you vote and your candidate loses, that's life. If you vote and your candidates never had a fair shot, that blows.

SPORTS: The curious case of Matt Harvey

          The following quote appeared in Mike Vaccaro's Friday column in the Post.

“He’s 27 years old,” one member of the organization mused recently. “He’s a professional athlete, who makes his living — and wants to make $200 million — by being an athlete. Does he look like an elite professional athlete to you?

I never really gave it a lot of thought of Harvey's weight being an issue as to why he has pitched so poorly this year. I thought maybe it was the extra wear his arm took last year.

But as the article also says,check out what Harvey looked like in 2013 before he got hurt.  It's a big difference.

I can't stand A-Rod. It's not because of his steroid use or the fact that he grabs for every last dollar, and it isn't because he was so dominant both with and before he joined the Yankees. No, I couldn't stand A-Rod because of all the extra curriculars, all the non baseball crap. The mistresses, his fights with Derek Jeter, his flirting with girls in the stands. And then the whole act where he just wanted to be left alone when in fact that was the last thing he wanted.

Matt Harvey is going down the same road. In the news more for his mouth than his arm. I mean has a UTI ever garnered so much coverage in the history of mankind?

If Harvey is looking for a big payday, either here or elsewhere, he needs to get his act together. He needs to stop making news for all the wrong reasons. He needs to get his a$$ in shape.

And he needs to start winning again.

Have a Great Week