Hi Everyone
I'm sorry we didn't post last week. I hope everyone had a Happy Easter and a Happy Passover. Again, this has been the weirdest set of holidays in my lifetime and I'm sure it most of yours. We usually spend Easter with my side of the family. But since we were all locked in, we ordered in from Outback Steakhouse and watched DJ Paddy Tubbs spin his tunes on the Corona virus Quarantine Virtual Bar.
The other night I did I virtual happy hour with WM Co-Editors (Razor) Ray McGarvey and Karl (the Ace) Ludwig, and they were complimenting me on my hair. Not sure exactly what they could see through the computer lens, but now I have those mutton chop white sideburns that haven't been in style since the early 70's.
Lorne Greene from a late season of Bonanza
I suppose I can get rid of those myself, but the rest of my hair is not looking to sharp either. Of course with the barbers and hairdressers all being closed due to COVID-19, we are all in the same boat.
AUTO RACING- One of my favorite movies as a kid was 1981's Cannonball Run, about a car race between Connecticut and California. Burt Reynolds, Dom deLuise, Farrah Fawcett, Roger Moore, and Rat Packers Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. led the all-star cast.
The Times did an article on Saturday saying that thanks to the Corona Virus, the highways are relatively clear and real life cannonballers are breaking the NY to California record on a regular basis. This week according to the Times' Jon Branch the record fell last week and is expected to continue to fall as more of them attempt to do it.
Highway Patrols across the country are keeping their eyes out for these speed demons, but despite the fact that speeding tickets have gone up dramatically, (while other crimes have dropped) it appeared these real life Cannonball Runs are going strong, Who knows, because of the lack of sports programming, maybe one of the networks will pick up on it. We can all gather 'round the TV and watch real cross country racing.
POLITICS-I'm trying not to get involved in the politics of this thing too much, but that was an interesting little spat between the Dope from Park Slope and Andrew Cuomo on last Saturday afternoon was it not? Right now, our governor is the closest thing we have to must see TV.
SKIN CARE- Is anyone else having this issue? I've used so much Purell on my hands that my skin is starting to crack. Squirting that stuff on my hands now makes it feel like I'm sticking my hand in a hot stove. Seeing what alcohol based sanitizer is doing to my hands makes my shutter at the thought of what drinking all this booze is doing to my innards. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to have my red wine and beer, but it does makes me wonder.
PRO WRESTLING- Did anyone catch Wrestlemania 36 a couple of weeks back? I haven't watched Wrestling in years. Back in the late 90's I kind of got back into it, with my brother in law Steve, my sister Katie and Ed (Auggie) DePuy. But I hadn't watched Wrestlemania since Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage were duking it out.
So because Vince McMahon might be the worst person in the world to work for, and his buddy President Trump decided that Pro Wrestling in an essential business, Wrestlemania carried on two Sunday's ago. It was supposed to be held at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, but they ended up taping it a couple weeks prior at the WWE Training Center in Orlando.
Timmy's been a trooper throughout this whole thing. So when he asked if we could get Wrestlemania I agreed. I remember Wrestlemania 3 at the Pontiac Silverdome in Detroit. There were 93,000 people there, the largest indoor audience at the time. Wrestlemania 36 had the lowest audience in history, a big fat zero.
It reminded me of as a kid playing CYO ball in an empty gym on a Saturday morning. If you had the first game, they would turn the heat on when they first got in there, so heaven forbid you were siting on the bench, you froze your ass off till about halftime when the heat kicked on a bit.
I don't know what the temp was there, but it was so empty you could hear everything.
Do any of you remember when they used to show the WWF on Channel 9 on Saturday mornings? I was trying to explain this to Timmy. They would show the stars wrestle against nobodys. During the matches, the voice of Howard Finkel (who passed this week) would come on and advertise wrestling cards, either the monthly ones at Madison Square Garden and the Nassau Coliseum, or at the Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie. (When my aunt and uncle moved up there a few years later, I was stoked when we drove by the Mid-Hudson Civic Center that I had heard advertised on those Saturday morning Wrestling shows.) Even those tomato can specials had fannies in the seats. There was nothing like that here at all. Just bizarre.
BASEBALL- And now baseball is discussing a number of plans to play games with no fans. One plan has all the games being played in Arizona. Another has the games being played at the team's spring training facilities, half the teams in Florida, the other half in Arizona.
The all games in Arizona plan I can't really see working. There's a reason the D'backs play in a retractable roof stadium. Tara and I were in Phoenix in June 2007, and it was 115 degrees down there. You'd either have to play at 8 in the morning (which might actually work) or 10 at night (which wouldn't).
The Florida/Arizona plan might have a better shot. The winner of the Florida League would play the winner of the Arizona League in the World Series.
GRAPEFRUIT LEAGUE (FLORIDA)
- NORTH: New York Yankees, Philadelphia Phillies, Toronto Blue Jays, Detroit Tigers, Pittsburgh Pirates.
- SOUTH: Boston Red Sox, Minnesota Twins, Atlanta Braves, Tampa Bay Rays, Baltimore Orioles.
- EAST: Washington Nationals, Houston Astros, New York Mets, St. Louis Cardinals, Miami Marlins.
CACTUS LEAGUE (ARIZONA)
- NORTHEAST: Chicago Cubs, San Francisco Giants, Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, Oakland Athletics.
- WEST: Los Angeles Dodgers, Chicago White Sox, Cincinnati Reds, Cleveland Indians, Los Angeles Angels.
- NORTHWEST: Milwaukee Brewers, San Diego Padres, Seattle Mariners, Texas Rangers, Kansas City Royals.
Based on this structure, the Mets would be in the toughest division. The two World Series participants from 2019 plus the NL Runnerup Cardinals. The Yanks meanwhile have three of the worst teams from 2019 in their division.
I was discussing this with Ace and Razor the other night, and they both said that with the dearth of quality programming, they will take baseball back anyway they can get it. "Let them play on the darkside of the f-cking moon for all I care." Ace said.
I don't know. I miss sports terribly, but I'd almost rather wait till they can play at their own stadiums in front of fans. If that means no baseball in 2020, so be it. It would suck, for sure, but we've already lost March Madness, hockey and pro basketball. (The fact that the NFL is the only sport that hasn't lost a step during this whole pandemic is one more thing to make me miserable) Can they guarantee the safety of the ball players? How are they going to televise these games?
Lots of questions, not a ton of answers.
ADVERTISING- The other day, I was listening to WFAN and they had a commercial for a Cadillac Dealership out here on the Island. The person in the commercial said that the dealership was on-line and available to help with all your "New Cadillac needs"
I realize every product in the world wants to stay relevant during the pandemic, I really do. I have saved a slew of e-mails from companies saying they know we are going through tough times and they are here for us. That's nice to know. Here's the thing. Unless you are making Hand Sanitizer, Cleaning Wipes, toilet paper, or food, chances are you're not really needed. And if you need a new Caddy at a time like this. you are more the problem than the solution.
CLASS OF 2020- So the latest trend on Facebook is having us old farts putting up our high school graduation pictures to "show support for the Class of 2020."
I have no issue trying to help these poor kids. Timmy is in 6th grade, which in the Oceanside Public Schools is a big year. They get a field trip, a dance (I think) and of course they graduate to middle school in June. The trip has been cancelled, the dance (if they have one) is in jeopardy, and who knows what kind of graduation ceremony they are going to have.
But I know Tim will eventually have other graduations and proms and stuff in his future. Those kids who are supposed to graduate from high school this year are really getting screwed. And whatever we can do as a society to make it up to them, I'm all ears for ideas on that.
But posting OUR high school pictures?
Is showing the Class of 2020 what a geek I was in 1991 going to make them feel better? It might generate a few laughs, but it won't improve their situation.
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So one of the issues I had last week was that I had a bad case of writers block. Without live sports, and not wanting to weigh in too much politically till this is over, there's not much to write about. I will do my best to get this out Weekly, but it may be more like a bi-weekly thing for a while. We'll see.
Thanks so much for hanging with me. Please continue to keep our essential workers in your prayers. Especially our nurses, doctors and grocers.
Wash your hands, stay 6 feet apart, wear a mask
And Have a Great Week
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