Weekly Mail 4th Annual Christmas Eve Special

Thank you for tuning in.


So, I really had a hard time coming up with some good material this year. But there was a development that took place last week that fits the Christmas narrative and also satisfies my need to kvetch. I also thought we'd update some of the issues we discussed last Christmas Eve.
We'll start there.


UPDATE 1) THE HOLLAND TUNNEL

So last year there was a big to-do because they put wreaths over the Jersey side sign that says HOLLAND TUNNEL. A wreath over the O, another wreath over the U and a tree over the H. So people thought they saw AOLLAND TONNEL.

Apparently they straightened it out. Somebody decided to put the tree over the A, so it looks more aesthetically pleasing. They still haven't solved the real issue at the Holland Tunnel, or the Lincoln Tunnel and the GWB for that matter, which is hour long traffic delays. As I said last year, eliminate those and you could put anything you want on the sign, people will be too busy flying out of Jersey to care.


UPDATE 2) BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

John Legend to the rescue.

Last year a bunch of folks suggested that the nearly  75 year old Christmas classic was politically incorrect, saying that the guy was holding the girl against her will even going so far as slipping her some Quaaludes to keep her from splitting. (Apparently I can't make any Bill Cosby jokes here-thank you Eddie Murphy)

So John Legend, wrote a new version in which he orders up an Uber/Lyft for his date, and it's HER that decides she'll stay for a few more drinks. And a cigarette. Which I think is disgusting and a poor message to send to kids, but hey it's John Legend and Kelly Clarkson, so who cares right?

I didn't think there was a huge issue with the original song, but if this makes people feel better, than so be it. I know a few gals who wouldn't mind crashing at John Legend's house. (amiright?)

Speaking of music...

Mariah Carey's brain cell melting holiday song "All I Want for Christmas is You", was the number one song on the Billboard Hot 100 last week, 25 years after it was first released. Besides the fact that we know get fed that song at least 10 times a day, what's more distressing for me is that the song puts the Elusive Chanteuse one hit behind my beloved Beatles for most number one songs all time. If the Fab Four can hold Mariah off till June, they will have had the record for 50 years.

And I know that records are made to be broken, but the thought that All I Want for Christmas is You is going to have a hand in that gives me nausea.

Maybe while we are re-releasing songs, we can rerelease my all time favorite Christmas song, Do They Know It's Christmastime. And donate the money to charity again.

Finally tonight, I want to pay tribute to Post sports columnist Mike Vaccaro, who somehow, someway every  year comes up with a bunch of Christmas song spoofs. This year's winner is These Are a Few New York Things That Don't Stink-sung to These Are a Few of My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music. Check them all out here...
Mike Vaccaro


And with that, I yield the remainder of my time back to the distinguished gentleman from the North Pole.



Merry Christmas