Weekly Mail Year in Review Part One

January 2-Mean Gene, Super Dave and the Captain? I mean we’re 2 days in ...

Mean Gene Okerland, Super Dave Osbourne and the Captain from Captain and Tenille all died on the same day. All three were 76. Weird


January 9-Adam Gase? Seriously?


Super Bowl winning coach and QB guru Mike McCarthy was available. Gase was run out of Miami. Yet here we are.


January 22-Thank you hall of fame voters for voting in my wife’s all time favorite player. WTG Mariano Rivera

Should a relief pitcher have been the first player unanimously elected to Cooperstown? Not sure. But if it had to be someone, Mariano was definitely the one it should have been.



January 30-This is going to be awesome!

Academy award winning filmmaker Peter Jackson was given hours of unused footage from the Beatles Let it Be Sessions from 50 years ago. That movie I can't wait to see!



February 


February 5- Does it make me a lousy American that I chose to watch St. John’s-Marquette instead of the State of the Union address?

It was a great game. The speech? Well not so much


February 14-The Hawks must really be lousy

Actually the headline here is it's Valentine's Day and I'm watching the Knicks?


February 17-The Daytona 500 has been nothing but crashes. They just came out of a yellow flag and like a dozen cars just wrecked.

Betacha didn't know I was a NASCAR fan....
Well neither did I 

February 24- Aw hell if I had known they needed one, I’d have gladly hosted the Oscars

I'd have done a good job too. Somewhere between Billy Crystal and David Letterman. 



March

March 7-With this being the 50th anniversary of the 1969 Miracle Mets, the thought of any celebration without Tom Seaver is a sad one. Tough day for us Met fans and baseball fans in general.

I don't know what was worse. If he wasn't there because he had passed, or the fact that he is still alive and not well enough to attend. 


March 12- Am I being p’unked here?

Odell Beckham Jr. traded to the Browns. And we wonder why all our teams suck...(except for the Yankees and Islanders) 


March 21 14-2 today. Probably means tomorrow will be a disaster. 😂 I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Does it go without saying that my bracket went straight to hell from there? 


March 22-Thanks for screwing up my bracket Wisconsin!

In less important news, Robert Muller submitted his report to the Attorney General today.

As I was saying.....




April


April 9-I should be happy about this.

Of course I am not....

The Rangers got the second pick in the NHL Draft. I was mad because the Devils got the first pick...Also because I'm a miserable human being. 

April 16- Not surprised Isles won. Must admit I didn’t think they’d sweep the Pens.

CBJ over Tampa? Never saw that coming. That’s the 98 Yanks losing to Texas, the 2007 Patriots losing to Jacksonville, the 96 Bulls losing to the Knicks.

This is a 16 beating a 1.

I had it pointed out to me by my pal Ed Robinson that the Lightning, unlike the aforementioned teams above haven't hoisted a Cup, at least not this incarnation of the Lightning. He's right. But still the margin between TB's record and Columbus' record makes this as huge an upset as any IMHO.

April 19-They should also make the Flyers give back their two Stanley Cups.

This is regarding the Yanks and the Flyers putting poor old dead Kate Smith out of work so to speak  I thought it was worth a shot to try to get the Flyers 1974 Cup to Manhattan, but if they were going to strip the Flyers, that Cup would go to a city that deserves it even less.... Boston. 

April 25-Quinnen Williams? Josh Allen? Ed Oliver? Who the Jets taking?

When your team sucks, the draft is the highlight of the year. BTW the Jets took Williams, who 1) was considered the most talented player in the draft and 2) has done bupkis for the Jets this year. Par for the course. Josh Allen meanwhile looks like he'll be a perennial Pro-Bowler. 

May

May 3-Seriously?

The Dope from Park Slope talking about throwing his dunce cap in the ring for President. 

May 4-Holy Crap, Maximum Security got DQ'd?

I used to say I never thought I'd see a horse win a Triple Crown. I've seen it happen twice this decade. I sure as hell never thought I'd see a Kentucky Derby winner taken off the board. I still can't believe THAT happened! 

May 14 We’ve made our goal!!!!! Thanks to all who contributed. If else wants to donate, that would be awesome. GTB (grateful, thankful and blessed) for all my family and friends

Running for Rebecca was two nights later. A tremendous night of healing for our family. To my friends and family who donated and/or ran/walked, a million thank yous

May 31-WPLJ’s current playlist....

They went from playing Mr. Jones by the Counting Crows to Only Jesus by the the Casting Crowns. Again, I'm not mocking Christian music, I just don't know why they had to put it on one of NY's iconic Top-40 stations. 

June  

June 7: Timmy bridged over to Boy Scouts tonight..

Another proud Dad moment from a kid whose given me more than I ever deserve. 

June 10: Good thing we cleared all that cap space......

This was after Kevin Durant tore up his knee in the NBA Finals.

Of course good knee or not, he had no intention of coming to the Knicks. 

June 12: Good News-Boston doesn’t win another championship.

Bad News- Another team ends it’s Stanley Cup drought just short of 54 years.

Had to pick my poison here. In the end, I'll just have to have faith someone will break the Rangers record. (Just hope it's not the Rangers themselves.) Anyway, I couldn't stomach another Boston championship parade, I've seen enough of those lately. 

June 27:Our bullpen is a disaster. How did this bum save 57 games last year? 

I wasted more ink on this bum than I should have this year, It would only get worse...

Next Week: July-December  (and a good chance we'll be returning a week early...) 

Weekly Mail 4th Annual Christmas Eve Special

Thank you for tuning in.


So, I really had a hard time coming up with some good material this year. But there was a development that took place last week that fits the Christmas narrative and also satisfies my need to kvetch. I also thought we'd update some of the issues we discussed last Christmas Eve.
We'll start there.


UPDATE 1) THE HOLLAND TUNNEL

So last year there was a big to-do because they put wreaths over the Jersey side sign that says HOLLAND TUNNEL. A wreath over the O, another wreath over the U and a tree over the H. So people thought they saw AOLLAND TONNEL.

Apparently they straightened it out. Somebody decided to put the tree over the A, so it looks more aesthetically pleasing. They still haven't solved the real issue at the Holland Tunnel, or the Lincoln Tunnel and the GWB for that matter, which is hour long traffic delays. As I said last year, eliminate those and you could put anything you want on the sign, people will be too busy flying out of Jersey to care.


UPDATE 2) BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

John Legend to the rescue.

Last year a bunch of folks suggested that the nearly  75 year old Christmas classic was politically incorrect, saying that the guy was holding the girl against her will even going so far as slipping her some Quaaludes to keep her from splitting. (Apparently I can't make any Bill Cosby jokes here-thank you Eddie Murphy)

So John Legend, wrote a new version in which he orders up an Uber/Lyft for his date, and it's HER that decides she'll stay for a few more drinks. And a cigarette. Which I think is disgusting and a poor message to send to kids, but hey it's John Legend and Kelly Clarkson, so who cares right?

I didn't think there was a huge issue with the original song, but if this makes people feel better, than so be it. I know a few gals who wouldn't mind crashing at John Legend's house. (amiright?)

Speaking of music...

Mariah Carey's brain cell melting holiday song "All I Want for Christmas is You", was the number one song on the Billboard Hot 100 last week, 25 years after it was first released. Besides the fact that we know get fed that song at least 10 times a day, what's more distressing for me is that the song puts the Elusive Chanteuse one hit behind my beloved Beatles for most number one songs all time. If the Fab Four can hold Mariah off till June, they will have had the record for 50 years.

And I know that records are made to be broken, but the thought that All I Want for Christmas is You is going to have a hand in that gives me nausea.

Maybe while we are re-releasing songs, we can rerelease my all time favorite Christmas song, Do They Know It's Christmastime. And donate the money to charity again.

Finally tonight, I want to pay tribute to Post sports columnist Mike Vaccaro, who somehow, someway every  year comes up with a bunch of Christmas song spoofs. This year's winner is These Are a Few New York Things That Don't Stink-sung to These Are a Few of My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music. Check them all out here...
Mike Vaccaro


And with that, I yield the remainder of my time back to the distinguished gentleman from the North Pole.



Merry Christmas

Weekly Mail December 15, 2019

Hello:

We are unbelievably, 10 days away from Christmas. Yesterday was Santa Con in Manhattan, and the combination of unseasonably warm weather, rain, and of course booze made for an interesting commute to and from the big bad city on Saturday. I know I've gotten old because I'm less interested in watching the shenanigans than I am in getting my own seat on the LIRR. But such is the circle of life.

This is going to be our so called Fall Finale. I am trying to come up with ideas for our Christmas Eve Special, but as of right now, I am drawing a blank. I've already started working on the year in review, which I realize is a bit of a snooze-fest.

My co-editor, (Razor) Ray McGarvey has been pitching me to bring back my annual Nerd of the Herd list. That was fun to do when the list was made up of ex-girlfriends of ours, but the combination of the #metoo movement and the fact that I'm coming up on 14 WONDERFUL years of marriage would limit my choices to celebrities, athletes and politicians.

Actually a real good place to start would be the House of Representatives. I could produce a list right from the hearings that went on there last week as the two Articles of Impeachment brought against President Trump were debated and voted on by the House Judiciary Committee. 

I was fortunate (or unfortunate maybe) that some of the hearings went into prime time so I could watch. During the day I can't watch while I'm at work, so I catch some of the highlights at lunch. But because the GOP decided to drag this out. I got to see the $hit$how in real time.

There was Jim (Non)Sensenbrenner of Wisconsin who could only be portrayed properly by the late Chris Farley. There was Ohio Rep Jim Jordan who has managed to make an a$$ out of himself in front of both the intelligence and judicial committees. Louie Gohmert of Texas may have spilled the name of the whistleblower during one of his many rants (Hat Tip to Ed Robinson* for pointing that out to me-as I missed it). Gohmert also asked his nay vote to be repeated, "just to make sure." Aaaaasshooooole

We are fair and balanced here at WM, so I will also criticize California Democrat Zoe Lofgren who suggested that Bill Clinton was impeached because he had an affair. Many of my friends have said to me over the years that Clinton shouldn't have been impeached because he "got a blow job." I simply point out that he was impeached because he lied about said BJ under oath. I understand that regular folks like myself would think he was busted for cheating on his wife. I expect a longtime member of Congress to know the difference. And I'm sure she did. She just wasn't being honest.

But really it was the Republicans whose pants were on fire. And if I had to pick one who really pissed me off, one who went above and beyond, even worse than the aforementioned 3 stooges above, I'd have to go with Florida Rep Matt Gaetz. Amongst his brilliant observations.

He suggested that Democrats "rent and don't buy" in Washington because their pursuit of impeachment will cost them votes. Pretty much admitting that he's covering his ass rather than doing what's right.

He also said that everyone tries to dig up dirt on their opponents, so what difference does it make that Trump did the same thing. He didn't mention that most other people don't ask foreign governments for help in that regard. Details, details.

But perhaps his biggest foot in mouth moment was when he criticized Hunter Biden for his past issues with cocaine. This coming from a guy who himself was busted for DUI.

It reminded me of an episode of MASH when Winchester suggested that Hawkeye was jealous of him. Hawkeye responded, "The only thing I'm jealous of is your chutzpah"

Folks, I really do try to play it down the middle as best as I can. Even when I disagree, I always try to see it from the other side. (The exception being 9/11). I've tried here as well. I've tried to understand how anyone could hear what Trump said to the President of the Ukraine and think there was nothing wrong with that. Could it really be just as simple as they don't care as long as they can hold on to their seats and keep a Republican in the Oval Office. Do they really believe what they are saying?

The only argument that I can kind of/sort of understand is the one where they say that impeaching someone because they don't agree with their policies is a dangerous precedent. I agree. But I don't think that's what's going on here.

They say that in the first 175 years or so of our nation, only one President has been impeached, and that was Andrew Johnson. In the past 45 years, we've had one who resigned before he was impeached, one who was impeached, and one about to be impeached.

Richard Nixon goes without saying, most members of his party knew he had to go. Bill Clinton? I'm not going to lie, even though I know he was impeached for perjury and not for adultery, there was a part of me pissed at his overall arrogance. If he got caught with Gennifer Flowers while he was governor of Arkansas, how the hell did he not think he'd get caught as the leader of the free world? That bugged me. But should that have disqualified him from office? No. Committing perjury? Yes, that's impeachable.

There were some who thought that Bush 43 should have been impeached for lying about WMD's and Obama for lying about the Affordable Care Act. Now THAT would have cheapened the impeachment process. Thankfully smarter heads prevailed there.

To me what's more scary is cheapening the election process. If candidates can solicit help from foreign governments, what does that mean?

The Republicans either don't know or  more likely they don't care.

And there they are folks: Your 2019 Nerds of the Herd.

BTW: It took Hakeem Jefferies of NY to remind those schmucks that President Trump took time out of watching his ass getting impeached to troll Time's Person of the Year, a 16 year old girl named Greta Thunberg. You know, when Kathy Griffin said she was going to go after Barron Trump, I went off on her. Young kids are off limits. You want to say Greta made herself a public figure by challenging the world on climate change? I say debate her points, don't insult her. She's still 16. You're the President and you're picking on a 16 year old?
THAT's the man you guys are defending.



SPORTS: Wrapping Up 2019

So here's where we stand as 2019 comes to a close...

The Jets have handed two teams who were trying to lose their first wins of the year.

The Giants before Sunday's win against the Dolphins, had not won a game since September. In other words, the Mets had won more recently than the Giants had.

The Knicks are the worst team in basketball. The Nets aren't that far ahead of them despite signing two max free agents.

Speaking of the Mets, the highlight of their offseason so far has been news that they may be getting a new owner in 5 years, Otherwise, while the Phillies have hired a winning manager and signed Zack Wheelrs and DiDi Gregorious, the Mets have signed two mediocre pitchers and a no-hit outfielder. n other words a big fat nothing burger.

The Yankees spent over a quarter billion dollars on a pitcher. Garrit Cole may be the man to get them over the hump, for that amount of cabbage, he better be.

The Devils are on their second coach of the season, a big disappointment after drafting Jack Hughes and signing PK Subban and Wayne Simmonds.

The Rangers have gotten better, though they are probably a couple years away from serious Cup contention. If they make the playoffs this year, it will be by the slimmest of margins. More likely, they will be back in the lottery again.

The Islanders have been one of the best teams in the game. They have cooled off a bit as of late, but are still up in the standings.

Not much to hang our hats on here NY. When the Islanders are one of your best hopes to bring home some hardware, you know things aren't good.


Back to the Mets for a minute.... I'd love to get excited about hedge-fund honcho Steve Cohen buying out the Wilpons. People were going bananas comparing it to New Years Eve. And look, I'd love to send those three bozos (Fred, Jeff and Saul Katz) packing. But shoot a LOT can happen in 5 years. The three stooges could change their minds, Cohen could end up in the slammer (apparently his company has been investigated by the Feds) and according to Forbes, there's a chance MLB wouldn't approve the sale, though I find that hard to believe. My point is 5 years is a looong time. Tell me this is the last off-season I have to worry about those idiot Wilpons running the Mets, and then maybe then I'll celebrate. 


JUSTICE: Disorder in the Court

One of my favorite shows growing up was Night Court, with the late Harry Anderson as Judge Harry Stone leading a team of misfits as they heard bizarre cases. This judge in this Kentucky courtroom makes Harry Stone's courtroom look tame.

Judge Dawn Gentry, a family court judge in Kenton County, Kentucky, is facing her own impeachment from the bench.

According to Cincinatti.com, Judge Gentry is being accused of either having sex or trying to have sex with her employees, including her secretary, Laura Aubrey, and a specialist she hired for casework, Pastor Stephen Penrose. Gentry also tried to recruit Katherine Schulz, an attorney who Gentry appointed to a panel, into a threesome with her and Penrose.

She's also accused of punishing people who didn't give to her campaign and other sleazy actions. I'm just having trouble getting past the threesomes in chambers. That sounds like the plot of a real cheap porno. I mean, a courtroom isn't exactly up there on my list of "places to get it on before I die." But, I guess if you are a judge or a lawyer who spends a lot of time in court, it's any port in the storm.



All right folks, that's it. I tried to end on a light note. If anybody has any suggestions for Christmas Eve, you know how to reach me. (Either Facebook or WildWill45@aol.com)  I'll get something out I promise Then we'll do our two end of year specials, and return January 12. Depending on what goes down in the impeachment proceedings, we may be back sooner. We will start analyzing the remaining Democratic Candidates as the Iowa Caucus approaches.

Stay safe and happy.

and Have a Great Week.

*I want to give shoutouts to Ed, and my forever friend James Tubridy. Ed's been providing coverage on FB of much of the goings on during the impeachment proceedings, and the big J has provided me with insights from both sides of the divide with his debate inducing FB posts. And of course to my two co-editors, (Razor) Ray-McGarvey and Karl (the Ace) Ludwig for their contributions. 

Weekly Mail December 1, 2019

Hey:

So here we are the last month of the year. 2019 for better or worse almost in the books.

We survived Black Friday. From what I read it seems like Syracuse NY was the winner in the city with the most Black Friday trouble for 2019. Who says Syracuse can never win the big one?


FOOTBALL: Turkey Day

There are certain things you can always count on Thanksgiving Day. Good food, good company and lousy football.

I consider myself a traditionalist, so I get it that the NFL insists that the first game on Thanksgiving should be hosted by the Detroit Lions. But the fact of the matter is that the Lions are one of the few football franchises more dysfunctional than by beloved Jets. And more often than not, they are playing out the string come Thanksgiving. And if they happen to be playing a team that is also struggling, it makes for a lousy game. Now for the past few years, I've trekked into the Upper East Side for turkey day, so I was usually looking for parking during the Lions game. This year I stayed out on LI, so I got stuck watching the slopfest against the disappointing Chicago Bears.

If I were a Lion fan and especially if I lived in Detroit, I would beg the Lions to at least make an effort on Thanksgiving. It's like with the Mets, even when I know they are going nowhere, I beg them to at least beat the god forsaken Yankees. But the Lions usually poop the bed on Thanksgiving, and they did again this year. At least I know which way to bet.

Now the second game on Thanksgiving is played in Dallas. And while I'm not usually someone who gives Ivy League graduate athletes/coaches a ton of sympathy, I have found myself sympathizing with Cowboys coach Jason Garrett.

I know that's weird right? I never liked the Cowboys, (well I did for a very short time as a kid-when my uncle bought me a Roger Staubach jersey) and Cowboy fans, are usually front runners. You don't hear much from the ones outside of the greater Dallas area when they are not competing for a championship.

But for some reason, I've always had a soft spot for Jason Garrett. I think it stems from a thanksgiving game about 20-25 years ago or so, when Troy Aikman got knocked out of a game and Garrett came in for him. Pat Summerall and John Madden, for my money the best broadcast combo in history, were really giving Garrett a hard time. Till he started zinging TD passes all over Texas Stadium that day. From that day on, I always rooted for him.

The thing is- he's been  the Cowboys coach now for almost 10 years as hasn't come close to being in a Super Bowl, much less winning one. 2 playoff wins in 10 years, again, even my Jets have done better than that, and we've had three coaches in the same span that the Cowboys have had Garrett in charge.

Jerry Jones is nuts. He fired Jimmy Johnson because he essentially bet some reporter that Barry Switzer could come out of retirement and win a Super Bowl with the team that was assembled. He was right, but then he sent Switzer packing when he couldn't win with the players Jones was drafting. (Johnson ran the drafts that built the three Championships the Cowboys won in the 90's) Remember the Cowboys had one coach for 30 years, then they had 5 or 6 in the next 10. How Jones has stuck with Garrett all these years is somewhat puzzling.

But now that appears to be coming to an end. Jones was fuming after Dallas lost to the Pats last week. (By 4 points-which having watched my team lose by 30 to them, didn't seem so bad) Jones pretty much gave Garrett an ultimatum-only to have the team lay an egg against the Bills on Thanksgiving at home. Some folks thought Garrett was a goner right then and there.

But Jones said that Garrett is safe till the end of the season.

There were reports that Garrett would be a candidate here with the Giants if/when they send Pat Schumur packing. The sampling of Giant fans I've spoken to (namely my in-laws) aren't exactly thrilled by this prospect. But me? I'd root him on here. I don't know what it is, he just seems like a hard guy to dislike. 

All I can say about the Jets is, if you didn't think they were going to lose that game to the previously winless Bengals, you obviously haven't been watching them.





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The past couple of years, I have had some guys I used to hang out with in Rockaway pass away too young. Good guys, guys I was friendly with, but maybe not super close. Still when I heard they had died, it stung.

But Billy Dietrich was a different story. This doesn't just sting, this one hurts.

I really can't remember a time in my life when I didn't know the Dietrich family. Rob is a few years older, but Billy and John Thomas (JT), were two years older and two years younger than me respectively. So it was those two I was closest to.

And what times I had with them.

The common theme that came through in all the tributes to Billy I read this week was how he made people happy. He had that big smile and deep laugh. They say happiness is contagious, well if you hung around him enough, you know that was true.

He was a natural comedian, I mean he could do things that if someone else did them, you'd chuckle. He did it and you busted a gut.

One time he and I were sitting on the boardwalk on 112 Street. It was one of those days, not nice enough for the beach, but not raining either. We were sitting there with his radio, he was flipping around the stations trying to find some decent music. At one point he stopped at a station playing classical music.

He put the radio down and found a stick in the shrubs near the nursing home. He broke the stick in half and proceeded to conduct the symphony right there on the boardwalk.

I started laughing, which got him laughing which made me laugh more as he made those faces he used to make, all the while still conducting. We must have been some sight..even the nuts on the boardwalk thought we were nuts!

But every time I thought of him this week, that was the first image that came to my mind. Mr. Bill, with the big smile, waving those sticks on the boardwalk that day.

Years later when Timmy was born, Tara took to calling him Mr. T. She still does.

One day her and Timmy were sitting on the coach when I came home from work. As I came in, Tara said "Look Mr. T it's daddy." Out of nowhere, seeing the two of them together, I belted out "Mr. T and Mrs. T live together, happily!"  Timmy cracked up. The two of us started singing that little tune all the time. "One of these days,  I told Timmy and Tara,  "I'll introduce you to the man who wrote that song." .

But I never got around to it. Billy once showed me a notebook. He had hundreds of those little poems.

I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I shoot the breeze with JT on line every once in a while. I just figured we'd all bump into each other one day and catch up.  If I've learned one thing these past few years, it's that you can't take that for granted.

With everything going on in the world now, with politics as angry as ever, the world could ill afford to lose anyone who can put a smile on people's faces just by being themselves.

The world lost someone this week who could do that as well as anyone I've ever known.

RIP Mr. Bill

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Thank you everybody

and Have a Great Week