Weekly Mail April 22, 2018

Hey:


I have tried to stay away from celebrity obituaries here because every week it seems like someone semi-famous dies. I rather celebrate the lives of people close to me rather than those who will receive platitudes from publications more prestigious than this. (perish the thought)

But this week was notable for there being notable deaths pretty much every day. To wit:


Sunday: R. Lee Ermey-  Friday night, Timmy had fitness night for the Cub Scouts. 5 stations around the school gym. Sit-ups at one, push-ups at another, dips at the third, jump rope at the fourth and jumping jacks at the last one. Obviously the pack leaders were encouraging the kids positively, cheering them on. But I couldn't help as I was watching the kids do their thing remembering  Gunnery Sargent Hartmann and his slew of insults directed at his recruits on Parris Island in Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket, especially those he fired at Leonard (Gomer Pyle) Lawrence. Repeating even cleaned up versions of those lines would land us parents in jail and deservedly so.

Ermey will be remembered for his roles as a hard ass military man, but I've seen him in roles against his stereotype, namely as famous Oregon track coach Bill Bowerman in the biographical film Prefontaine. In that movie, he was tough but compassionate. (As was Bowerman's assistant coach Bill Dellinger. Played by an at the height of his Al Bundy days Ed O'Neill). I've seen him on documentaries discussing his methods of getting young boys ready to go to war. Interesting but scary.


Monday: Harry Anderson- I know he was an accomplished magician, and that he was on a show in the early 90's called Dave's World, but to me and most of my generation, he was Judge Harry Stone of Night Court. There were two decades in which NBC dominated Thursday night television: The 1990's, with the Friends/Seinfeld/ER trifecta, and the 1980's, with The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Cheers, and Night Court. You are talking about 4 classics on one network on one night. You may never see that again. Night Court had an incredible cast, John Larroquette arguably the most famous of them all. But Richard Moll as Bull, Markie Post as Public Defender Christine Sullivan, and of course Anderson and the goofball judge all made Night Court a TV Classic. I'm going to sound like an old man saying they don't make them like that anymore, but I am, and well, they don't.


Tuesday: Barbara Bush- The wife of our 41st President and mother of our 43rd. The Bush family had announced Sunday that Mrs. Bush was "not going to seek any more medical treatment and instead pursue conform care." That usually means the end is near, and it was, as she passed away at age 92.
I realize that she wasn't everybody's cup of tea, and that the Bush's have as many naysayers as they do admirers. But some of the piss and vinegar that has come out was a tad baffling. That professor at Fresno State who called her all sorts of names should probably have her head examined. As should Republican strategist Roger Stone, who called her a "vindictive drunk". Shit, even Stone's protege, President Trump had the good sense not to insult the woman upon her death, even if he has spent the past three years ragging on two of her sons, George Dubya and Jeb. Again, you may not have thought of her as America's matriarch, as some people called her. I didn't. But I also think she didn't deserve to be insulted like that either.

Wednesday: Bruno Sammartino- I posted this on Facebook on Thursday, but it's one of my favorite stories; When I was in 8th Grade, Kevin Mahoney, who ran St. Mary's CYO program was my basketball coach. We must have played 40 games that year. CYO, PAL, a whole bunch of tournaments all over the diocese. We played a couple of times in Rockaway, a few times in Brooklyn and of course from one end of Queens to the other.
One time, Kevin told us he could recite the starting lineup of every American League team from 1950. I immediately gave him the Washington Senators and damned if he didn't do it. One of the guys said "What about the Yankees?" I could name the 1950 Yankees line up" I responded. "OK, Bill, go ahead," Mahoney responded. (I couldn't; but I did better than he thought I would)
One thing that drove Kevin nuts was when we talked Pro Wrestling. "No wonder you guys can't play basketball he would say." But some of those rides were long, and this being 1986-87, it was the height of the Hulk Hogan era. One Saturday afternoon, Macho Man Randy Savage defended his Intercontinental Title against Ricky the Dragon Steamboat. The match ended when Savage draped Steamboat's head over the guardrail and hit him with a flying elbow, damaging Steamboat's throat and sending him to the hospital.

Bruno Sammartino, the color commentator on the match, was back in the locker room waiting to interview Savage. While he was waiting, he was lamenting what Savage had done. Savage came out and bragged about what he had done, causing Sammartino to beat the holy hell out of him. For the benefit of the guys in the car on the long trip back from Brooklyn, and to the chagrin of Kevin Mahoney, I recreated the interview. The guys kept making me do it over and over. 31 years later, it still makes me laugh.
Sammartino was a two time champ of the WWWF (now WWE) and in the pre Hogan era, one of the most most popular attractions. On Youtube the other day, I watched a match from December, 1975 between Sammartino and Ivan Koloff. He wasn't particularly tall or cut, but there was no doubt he was the champ. In later years, he decried the widespread use of steroids and the trashy story lines that dominated wrestling the past several years. Back in the day it was good guys vs bad guys and that was that. One of the greats.

Thursday: Walter Moody- Never heard of him? Me neither. But I realized that I didn't have anybody for Thursday, so I went on Wikipedia and saw that this lowlife was executed by lethal injection in Alabama for sending a letter bomb to a federal judge in Atlanta in 1989. Of note, he is the oldest person to be executed in modern US History. So there's some trivia for ya.

Friday: Avicii- OK, I have to confess, I didn't know who this fellow was. At least I didn't think I did. Obviously any death at 28 is a tragedy, so it caught my eye. And the tributes on line were touching.
It wasn't until I started researching his discography that I realized I pretty much hear that song, Wake Me Up. every.....single.....day.  It's a KJOY staple. I just had no idea it was his song. He's not actually singing it, he's the DJ on it, but nonetheless, still a sad story.


Saturday: Verne Troyer- Mini-Me from Austin Powers. At press time, there was no reported cause of death. But he supposedly had an on going bout with alcoholism.

Tough week.




VERMIN: DeBlasio outsmarted by a rat.

Mayor DeBlasio this week took to a housing project in Bushwick to demonstrate part of his $32 million plan to rid the city of rats.

One of the measures the city wants to implement is dry ice abatement, and it was this measure that the Dope from Park Slope was demonstrating to the press last week.

Into the rat hole went the dry ice, out popped the rat. Problem was, nobody could catch the damn thing as it took off.

So it's a work in progress obviously. Actually, I applaud TDFPS for at least trying to combat this problem. Nobody should have to live with that rats in their homes. That's grosser than gross. I hope the money spent and the measures taken are enough to improve these people's lives.

They just have to make sure they kill the filthy things, not have them move across the street.


SPORTS: Getting Drafty in here.

So even though I'm still trying to avoid football as much as I can, I have to confess I'm pretty stoked for the upcoming NFL Draft on Thursday night. With the Giants and Jets having the 2nd and 3rd picks respectively, it's a unique opportunity for both teams to draft busts in the same year.

The rumor mill is saying that the Giants are going to draft Saquon Barkley from Penn State. They say he's an all time back. As Phil Mushnick wrote in his Sunday Post column, and I've been telling people since the season ended, the last time there was a can't miss running back out of Penn State, the Jets drafted him. His name was Blair Thomas.

The Jets traded a slew of high draft picks to switch places with the Colts, presumably to one again try to draft a franchise QB. There are 5 potential franchise QB's according to the so called experts.. Sam Darnold of USC, Josh Rosen of UCLA, Josh Allen of Wyoming,  Baker Mayfield of Oklahoma, and Lamar Jackson of Louisville.

Several outlets have reported that the Jets are most interested in Mayfield, which is fine, except I don't really think they needed to move up to get him. Darnold is probably headed to Cleveland, the Giants will probably take the running back, the Colts with Andrew Luck don't need a QB, Cleveland at 4 wouldn't take a second QB, and the Broncos will probably take Allen, since he's a big armed QB like the man who will draft him, John Elway was. So at 6, they would have their choice of Rosen, Mayfield or Jackson. And again, I have absolutely no doubt that the Colts are going to use one of the picks the Jets traded to them to draft a Hall of Famer. Y'all read that here first.

Look, at the end of the day, this is all spec until the draft actually goes down. Maybe the Giants go with Eli Manning's heir apparent, maybe Cleveland trades down. Maybe all 5 QB's are available to the Jets at 3. Look I was convinced Mark Sanchez was going to be the one to lead the Jets to the promised land. Maybe they'll take Darnold which means they will have traded up twice in 10 years to draft QB's from USC. Maybe this time will turn out different.

Either way, I'll be watching, like one of those draft nerds I usually make fun of. When your teams suck, this is your version of the Super Bowl.

Have a Great Week