Weekly Mail Election Guide

So here we are. Two days away from the election.

And I spent the better part of the week writing my feelings on both candidates. All the things I can't stand about either one of them. The lies and deception and the insults coming from both candidates and their campaigns. I was talking with a really good friend of mine, a fellow writer, who joked that she had to delete so much that she writes before she posts on social media because of how angry this election has made her, she will certainly post something she would regret.

I know what she means.

Because I wrote a whole ton of stuff about both of these people,  And I started to realize that as much as I have wanted to go off on the two of them, as much piss and vinegar as I wanted to spray on the page about them, it was taking too long to write. And if it took too long to write, it would take too long to read.

As I've said before, I know that there is no way I'm going to change anybody's mind, influence anybody's vote. I'm just giving you one man's opinion of this whole mess. And I don't want you to change your mind.

I don't want Hillary Clinton to be the President of the United States.

I don't want Donald Trump to be the President of the United States.

I've tried to narrow down the groups of voters

Group One- Those who think Hillary Clinton is the most qualified candidate to ever grace an election.

Group Two- Those who think Donald Trump is the outsider/game changer this country needs to make America great again.

Group Three-Those who don't really like Hillary Clinton, but believe Donald Trump to be a) dangerous, b) racist c) offensive to women, Muslims, Mexicans, well, pretty much everybody except rich white men,

Group Four-Those who think Donald Trump is  a) dangerous, b) racist c) offensive to women, Muslims, Mexicans, well, pretty much everybody except rich white men, but believe Hillary Clinton is a lying conniving two faced shrew.

Group Five- Those who believe three and four, and are going third party.

I honestly don't know what group I'm in. I attempted to figure it out by writing all my beefs with both Hillary and Trump. With Hillary, I went all the way back to 1992, when in one fell swoop, she insulted stay at home Mom's and women who had to work to support their families. "I don't just sit around baking cookies and having teas"

I went on to her failure to produce a comprehensive health care plan or social security reform while she was First Lady. And even with those failures, still managed to convince enough New Yorkers (in part by donning a Yankee hat and proclaiming "I've always been a Yankee fan!")  that she would make a fine US Senator, (because she knew she couldn't convince enough folks from Illinois and Arkansas that she could.) I ranted about how she voted for the Iraqi War, then acted like someone else cast that vote. I talked about how thin her resume was when Obama asked her to be Secretary of State.

I didn't even get up to Benghazi, the e-mails the Clinton Foundation, or the disgraceful way the DNC acted to grease the skids on her behalf. (and screwing Bernie Sanders in the process)

 In brief, there is enough blame to go around for Benghazi including Senate Republicans) that I actually think she's taken too much blame for what happened. She wasn't upfront with her e-mails, which I believe is 90% of all her problems, that she lies, and I'm going to be honest, I haven't dug into the Clinton Foundation stuff too much. I've seen enough of what she has done, or hasn't done to know that I can't vote for her.

As for Donald Trump, I mean he's just as much a liar as she is, maybe more so. He lied about having information that would prove that President Obama was born outside the US.  (Because nobody else was sharp enough to catch that before he ran for Senate, never mind the White House) He lied about not being able to release his tax returns, probably because he's lying about how much he's worth.

I also wrote about how Adam Sandler had a CD out in the 1990's called "They're All Gonna Laugh at You." One of the characters they had on there was Toll Booth Willie. Sandler played Willie, a Worcester, Massachusetts toll collector, who would greet drivers with a friendly hello, till he tells them the price to go over the bridge, (da state chaaages a dawlah twenty five paw) at which point the driver slams Willie with an insult and drives away, with Willie screaming insults and names at the driver.

Donald Trump is Toll Booth Willie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcI0TJixars.
(don't watch this at work or in front of kids)

I wrote about all the insults. Reporters with disabilities, Gold Star Families, POW's. I wrote about how a crying baby got him unhinged, but he says he can go toe to toe with ISIS?  Rosie O'Donnell sends him into convulsions, but he can stand up to Bashar al Assad? 

I didn't even get up to the Access Hollywood tape, or any of the women who accused him of sexual assault. Do I question the timing of the accusers coming forward? Yes I do. Do I also believe that more times than not, where there's smoke there's fire? 

Yes. I. Do. And I've seen and heard enough from him to know I can't vote for him. 

I'm sorry to all of my friends, cyber or otherwise, who have tried to convince me one way or the other that their candidate is the bee's knees, but i'm not buying it.

She's full of $h-t. She knows she's full of $h-t. She knows that we know she's full of $h-t. It doesn't matter because she knows most of her most devoted followers don't care. And look, I think we are well past overdue for a woman to lead our nation. Just not this one.

And liberal commentator Alan Colmes put it best with Trump. "He's worse than a racist. Racists at least stand for something, despicable as their stance might be. Trump's only stands for himself, and he says whatever he thinks will win him support." And look, I understand why someone outside the political arena would be an appealing candidate. Just not this one. 

I'm not voting for Hillary 

I'm not voting for Trump. 

So here are my options.

1) The third party candidates- The choices here are Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson and Green Party candidate Jill Stein.

I was pretty high on Johnson for a while till I saw that he couldn't figure out how to get off an elevator without a map. I could forgive the man for not knowing where Aleppo is, but to not be able to know the name of one foreign leader? That's inexcusable. He was the governor of a border state, he couldn't name the President of Mexico? Sorry folks, he gets the gas face.

My understanding about Jill Stein is that even the environmentalists don't like her, a problem if you are representing the Green Party. I don't consider myself an environmentalist, but if you can't even fire up your base, how do you expect to draw folks like me. I can't rule her out, but I seriously doubt I'll be casting my vote for her.

There is another possibility: There is a former CIA operative named Evan McMullin who apparently is giving Trump a run for his money in his home state of Utah. I'm not so excited about McMullin as I am that his running mate's name is Mindy Finn. Mindy Finn! Is that not a great name or what? I have Finn's on my Mom's side of the family so she could be a cousin. And have you ever met anyone named Mindy who isn't a ton of fun? (I did once back in the early 90's but for the most part..)

Unfortunately, I don't think the McMullin/Mindy Finn ticket is on the ballot here in NY, (I'll check with my political team) So that leads me to my second voting option....

2) The Write In Candidates- A few of my friends who are still feeling the Bern are planning to write America's favorite Socialist in as a proverbial FU to Hillary and the rest of the DNC. I can certainly dig that. I'm also considering writing in my GOP pick John Kasich as a protest vote. So besides Bernie and Kasich, I have my new favorite Evan McMullin or better yet, just to enforce my stance that my vote against Hillary has nothing to do with her gender, I can write in Mindy Finn. That would be cool!

But then I have what I call my nuclear option (or as George W. Bush called it, the neucular option) and 

3) Turn in an empty ballot. - Now understand something: I would never NOT vote. I will vote for Chuck Schumer in the Senate. He's done a really nice job (and if you don't believe me, just ask him) Out here on the Island, I'll vote for whoever is running against Kathleen Rice, both to support my friends who fought to keep the Islanders in Nassau, (yes you read that right)  and to keep to my vow to vote against any local pol who was in office when Super storm Sandy hit. I will also vote for Chris McGrath because Todd Kaminsky is an a$$hole. Over the summer, I was at Timmy's summer camp and Kaminsky was there shaking hands. He came over and shook my hand, and asked if I was a member of the beach club. When I told him I was just there visiting  he walked away! No time to deal with peons like me I guess. So he can go kick rocks.

But for President? Keep the ballot blank.

Let America know that I think we can do better that these two lying crooks. Its like being at a restaurant, you don't like what you are being served, you send it back. Let's face it we are being served some real crap here, let's send it back. No thanks. I'll come back next time when you have something I can stomach. I mean 2020 has got to be better than this doesn't it?

I will let you know what I do on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning but here is my... 

PREDICTION:

Everyone is freaking out because the overall polls are in a dead heat. Of course that means squat. The bottom line is there are about 11 toss up states and Trump needs to win just about all of them. 

He won't. 

Weekly Mail predicts Hillary will waltz to victory. 311-227.