Weekly Mail February 23, 2020

Hello there:


Hope all of you had a wonderful weekend. The days are getting noticeably longer, and this weekend weather had that feel of warmer ans sunnier days to come, which was nice.

Anyway, lets get to it...



PETS-Adventures in Dog-Sitting.


I'm not a dog person.

Wait wait wait.... before you go on Facebook and click that unfriend button, before you call and cancel your Weekly Mail subscription, before you recommend me for a job in the Trump administration, hear me out. I don't hate dogs. I'm not Michael Vick.

I never had a pet growing up and never had any desire for one. When I was a kid, dogs made me nervous and cats creeped me out. Tara had a dog growing up and she kind of taught me how to get dogs to trust you, but then I heard the stories about how shattered they were when their dog died. I've seen people in mourning after their pets died. It's really sad. Life offers you enough heartache and grief that I don't feel the need to go sign up for it.

Tara, Tim and I have had the discussion before, and I've been in the firm no camp since day one.

But when my cousin and her husband was having trouble getting a dog sitter, Tara graciously offered to watch him for them. Thus we had a tenant in our house for President's week.

   
                                                                          Wally


A couple days before, my cousin Deirdre and her husband Chris brought Wally over to meet us and get acclimated to the house. He ran around sniffing everything, and I was convinced he was going to find either a dead body or several kilos of cocaine that the previous owners of the house had left behind. No spot in our house went unsniffed by Wally. Thank God the place was relatively clean.

Deirdre and Chris put Wally in a kennel for the couple of days we couldn't take him. We went and picked him up on President's Day from the kennel in Woodmere. We brought him home where he once again gave the place a good sniffing.

Now Deidre and Chris are both teachers, so they didn't leave us with instructions as much as they left us with a syllabus. She titled it, "Watching Wally". I called it Introduction to Wally 101. Deidre knows I never had a dog, so she spelled everything out: what time he eats, what time he goes for his walks, how to put his leash on, his favorite TV shows, his thoughts on the Astros cheating scandal, David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar, and who he was endorsing in the upcoming South Carolina primary. Whatever we needed to know about Wally, it was in the syllabus.

Wally gets walked three times a day: once at sunup, once in the afternoon/early evening and a late night walk. For the morning and night walks, we bundled him up like Nanook of the North.

Denis Leary talked about opening his own restaurant on his classic album No Cure for Cancer. He said there would be no men's room, "you have to piss, you mark your spot like a wolf!"  Well, Wally kind of did the same thing, we walked outside and he would sniff all over, then he'd stop and lift his leg. I don't know what he smelled or didn't smell that let him know this was a good place to tinkle, but that's what he did. And he sprinkle like a squirt or two in several different places, unlike us humans who get it all out in one shot.

If you're reading this while eating skip the next paragraph.

Wally was also particular about where he dropped a deuce too.  His favorite spot in Oceanside was outside of Liberty Travel Agency next to the 24 hour bagel shop. Three trips to Liberty Travel, three times he fertilized their grass. That might be worth a discount on our next vacation. One of the things I dreaded about taking care of Wally was having to pick up his contributions to society, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Years ago, the people who lived next door to my grandmother in Woodhaven had a dog that looked like it should have been pulling a buggy through Central Park, with poop size to match. And this was before it was against the law to leave it on the street, so you had to be careful where you stepped. The only thing was you'd have to be Mr. Magoo to miss where this dog had done his business. Wally, on the other hand, being that he's a tiny thing, dropped little poop. So again, it wasn't as painful as I imagined. But it's not pleasant either.


Wally had a variety of things to eat.. there was his dog food, which kind of looked like a TV dinner gone wrong, there was his kibble, which he kind of picked at, and there was his treats, which of course he loved. We were instructed to limit the treats to when they were necessary, but hell, he was as much on vacation as his owners were, so we spoiled him a bit.

The issue was when the three of US ate. He stand there at your feet, desperately waiting for you to drop whatever you were having for a meal, and when he got tired of waiting, he'd climb up on his hind legs and put his front paws on my thigh. The first couple of times, this was very disconcerting, but after a day or so I learned to ignore it. It cracked Tara up that Wally hung around the one person in the house who was least inclined to share food, which I have to say was a fair point. When that would happen, we'd call him Wally the Beggar.

But we also called him Wally the Protector, because when he thought someone was coming to the door, he'd bark his head off. He fancied himself a guard dog, all 8 1/2 pounds of him.

The first night he was with us he didn't come upstairs, he just laid on the couch. I don't imagine he slept much that night. The next night again he stayed downstairs, but when I went down to check on him around 3 AM, he followed me up. I thought maybe he'd go back down, instead he hopped into bed right between us. The next night, he spent the night in our bed again, but down towards the end of it. The next few nights I convinced Wally to sleep with Timmy, which I think was a win-win for all parties involved. Timmy said he didn't mind and I didn't have to worry about crushing the poor thing.

I also worried about one night forgetting that he was there, and upon seeing him, having to be rushed to South Nassau Hospital. Fortunately, that didn't happen as I was always fully aware we had a visitor.

                                                         Wally and the Beaver (I mean Timmy) 


So after all this, . the $64.00 question is have a changed my mind about getting a dog? The answer is no. They are too much work. Wally is a beautifully trained dog, does all his business outdoors, doesn't bite or scratch and is a lot of fun. But even the best behaved dogs like Wally have to be walked, fed and cleaned up after. Not to mention you have to find someone to take care of them if you want to take any kind of trip.

But I had a good time with him and I'm going to miss the little bugger. I understand the appeal now more than I had last week. It's nice when they come greet you at the door when you come home from work. They really can make you smile.

To all you dog lovers out there, I can dig it.

Here's a PSA for the Muttigrees Curriculum starring Nell (Renee Felice Smith)  from NCIS Los Angeles

Nell Jones for Muttigrees



POLITICS-Bloomy's bad night.

I didn't watch as much of the debate from Las Vegas the other night as I probably should have, but to me it was cringe worthy on multiple levels.

We'll start with the obvious. Like almost everyone else who tuned in, I was perplexed at how a guy as smart and successful as Michael Bloomberg could be so woefully unprepared for that debate as he was. If a dolt like me could figure out that the other 5 candidates were going to be gunning for him, why couldn't he figure that out?  Anytime they took shots at him, which they did unrelentlessly, he either looked surprised or annoyed and mostly surprised and annoyed.

Look I'm not defending Bloomberg here, but we need to put this in perspective. I don't know what he did or didn't say, but I'm willing to bet that all of these off color jokes he made occurred many years ago. Not that it was ever right, but something that is super offensive now, may not have been say 30-40 years ago. Grab 'em by the pu$$y is offensive in any era, and Trump said that on TV 15 years ago. It's not the same thing.

Now, if Bloomberg said something offensive while he was mayor? Then I think you have a case. But for Elizabeth Warren to compare him to Donald Trump? That was below the belt.

And I'm really trying with Warren, but if she's gonna frame this whole election as "Men have been f-cking things up for 250 years", then I think she's going to find herself on the outside looking in. I realize that one of her strengths is firing up her base, which is why she was my pick to win the nomination. But now I feel like she's going scorched earth to get there. She's already got the "I'll only vote for a woman" vote, but that's not going to be enough. As I said, she has some good ideas that I can get behind. But if she's going to lump Bloomberg and Trump together, she might end up giving the Orange man another 4 years.

Then there was the silliness of Amy Klobochar and Pete Buttigeg arguing about forgetting the name of the President of Mexico. Yes, if you are running for President, you should at least know who the President of Mexico and the Prime Minister of Canada are. At least Klobochar was willing to admit she had a brain cramp the day she drew a blank on that question. Also on that point, Joe Biden showed why I have so much respect for him and why I'm afraid his time may have come and gone. He said he was the only one up there who had dealt with a number of Mexican Presidents, but also didn't name a single one.

Now while I thought Warren was unfair comparing Bloomberg to Trump as an overall louse, Bernie Sanders was unfair comparing Bloomberg to Trump because of his $$$. Trump inherited most of his millions and has spent most of that money on getting his name on things. Bloomberg is legitimately self made, and has spent a ton of money on charitable causes.

Look, there are legitimate concerns about Bloomberg, and I'm not saying that the others shouldn't have gone after him. You want to attack his flip-flopping on stop and frisk? Or question his multiple party switches? That's legit. You want to take him to task for manipulating the rules to get himself a third term as mayor, hey, I've said it before, under normal circumstances that's a disqualifier for me. And while I will always respect a person who is willing to spend his own money to run a campaign rather than spend so much time fundraising, I do share Bernie's concern that more and more, it's less the best and the brightest than the richest and most connected that decides these elections.

I just think saying that Bloomberg is another version of Trump is inaccurate. And by painting him as such, you are not doing the Democrats any favors. As Bloomberg himself said, the winner of the debate that night was Donald Trump.

FWIW- Looks like Bernie Sanders won the Nevada caucus.


HOCKEY-Trade Deadline Thoughts

The hockey trading deadline is always a fun day in sports. Of all the trading deadline days, it usually has the most action. Baseball's July 31 deadline is fun, but to me it was always watered down by the fact that even after it passed you could make deals with players who cleared waivers. (that's now changed.)

The last couple of years the Rangers have been sellers which sux because it pretty much means you are mailing it in. I kind of figured they would be sellers again, but they have been playing well as of late, and now have a shot at getting in.

What it really comes down to is can they/will they sign Chris Kreider to a new deal. If not they will probably deal him. It's complex with him, when he's on, he's an all star talent. But he too often disappears. I'm hoping they sign him, and that he clicks with Artemi Panarin and Mike Zibanijad. If his demands are more than they can fit under their cap, I hope they get a couple first rounders for him.

I'm also really hoping the Rangers solve their goaltending conundrum too. Right now they have three goalies. Igor Shesterkin who has done nothing but win since they brought him up, Alexandar Georgiev, who is young and talented, and the King, Henrik Lundqvist.

Shesterkin is a keeper, he could be our goalie for the next 10 years. Georgiev could probably bring back a decent haul in a trade.

It's Hank that I'm torn on. He has a no-trade clause and even if he waived it, it's hard to believe anyone would trade for a 38 year old goalie making $8.5 in a salary cap league. There's a part of me that wishes he would so they could free up that money. Especially since he's probably going to ride the pine here the rest of the way.

But I also have a soft spot for him. Let's face it, the Rangers have been the only one of my teams that have been consistent championship contenders. Since Hank came up in 2006, the Rangers have been in contention. It's only been the last couple of years since they decided to rebuild that they haven't had a shot.

And he's the main reason why they have been so good.

He's unfortunately not going to win a Stanley Cup here in NY. Small minded people will hold that against him. I won't. Are you kidding? He's kept us in games we had no business being in, helped win playoff series we had no business winning. I've said it a million times, if not for some of the $hittiest officiating I have ever witnessed, his name would have been on the Stanley Cup that instead went to LA in 2014.

It pains me to see him sitting at the end of the bench, but it's clear his time had come and gone here in NY. He might have a shot on a good team with a solid defense. But if he wants to end his career in a Rangers uniform, I can dig that too. Whenever he decides to pack in in, he will get a well deserved send off. He will always be one of my all time favorite athletes


BASEBALL

The Astros cheating scandal continues to dominate the news, which while I totally understnd, I fear that it's becoming as much of a distraction for the rest of baseball as it is for the guilty party Astros. Last week for example, almost every prominent Yankee was asked to give his $0.02 about the whole thing, and each time the players comment seemed to make it the back page headlines. If I'm Aaron Boone, I pull the team aside and say "Hey, I know you guys feel like you were robbed, but the only way we can make this right is by going out there and dominating. We have the horses to do that, so forget about what happened and lets go out there and make this right by kicking their a$$es."

Some members of the press have also gone above and beyond with some of their takes on this. Last week, Daily News baseball columnist Bill Madden actually argued that what the Astros did was worse than what the 1919 White Sox did during the Black Sox scandal.

What?!

I'm not saying what the Astros did was insignificant, but to me there is nothing worse than intentionally losing a game. Cheating to get an edge, especially on the scale that the Astros did it was bad, losing games intentionally for the benefit of gamblers is 100 times worse. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I'm sorry, that's about as dumb an argument as I have heard in a long time.



Hope you all enjoyed the stories about Wally. Thanks to Deirdre and Chris for letting their pooch be part of the story.

and everybody Have a Great Week