Weekly Mail, February 17, 2019

Happy President's Weekend!


This is one of my favorite times of the year believe it or not. We managed to slog through the first 6 weeks since New Year's Day. The post holiday blues are dissipating if not gone and we are closer to the beginning of spring. Football is over, pitchers and catchers have reported, the playoff races in hockey and basketball are heating up and March Madness is right around the corner. Many of us get a three day weekend and a lot of us get a week off. (I don't this year, but I have the past 3).  We're not out of the woods yet weather wise, but the threat of a massive snow that sticks around for weeks is gone.

I don't know, I just really enjoy this time of year.

Anywho onto the week that was.


BUSINESS: Amazon leaves Queens in the dust.


I have gone so back and forth on this not only since Amazon announced they were not going to build their new headquarters in Long Island City, but actually when they first announced they were.

I liked the idea of one of America's most successful companies coming to my old neighborhood. I didn't like that they were getting massive tax breaks to move here. I like the idea of 25,000 new jobs being added to the local economy, I didn't like the idea of the 7 train being more crowded than ever. (Even though I hardly ever ride it anymore, that's still my train dammit). I like the idea of property values going up but not the idea that I couldn't afford to live there (I realize that's quite a paradox.)

Shoot even choosing a political side was difficult. Do I side with The Dope from Park Slope and Angry Andrew Cuomo, or Captain America herself, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. AOC was on the Take These Jobs and Shove 'em side, while TDFPS and Angry Andy were the ones who proposed the massive tax breaks for a trillion dollar company.

Both sides have valid arguments. Shoot, I'll even give AOC some props. Use that tax money to improve schools, pay teachers fix the subways etc. That's what she was saying, and I think she's right. Do I think for one second any of that stuff is going to happen?  Not bloody likely.

And that's why my gut tells me that Amazon not coming to NY was bad news.

Look, I love the idea of the Mom and Pop stores, the successful small businesses, but I'm not going to lie, I use Amazon to do a ton of shopping. I haven't had a bad expirence with them yet, and they aren't going anywhere. I think they are only going to get bigger and create more jobs and more revenue, so why shouldn't NY be a part of that. No I don't think they should get any tax breaks. Few things burn my ass more than the thought that James Dolan, the scumbag owner of Madison Square Garden gets massive tax breaks from the city and state, but Amazon is one company who I believe would use those breaks for the betterment of the area. Most corporations pocket that cash, Amazon would reinvest it. Again, that's just my gut talking.

Anyway, for now Jeff Bezos gets to cheat on his wife in Seattle and not in Long Island City. Too bad.



RELIGION: Perv Priest List

Friday afternoon, the Brooklyn diocese released a list of 108 priests who were "credibly accused" of sexual abuse. I knew more of these priests than I almost care to admit.

To be clear: I was never touched by any priest inappropriately. If I was, I'd call 'em out right here on line. For the most part, I've had positive experiences with the priests I've dealt with. Some of them were nasty to me as a kid, but never physical.

I saw a couple of people on Facebook the other day say that the priest that married them was on the list. (The priest that married Tara and I was too busy partying with the paparazzi at Elaine's to be involved in any of that $h-t, but I digress). I'm sure most of you who grew up with me would recognize some of the names.

The scary thing? These are only the names the diocese are releasing. Most of these guys are dead and buried. I bet my bottom dollar there are many more from where these came from.

And the shame of it all? I mean besides the obvious, is that a good priest can do wonders, I still believe that. Fr. James Hansen here in RVC, the priest who did my father in law's funeral, has been wonderful. There are good ones out there.

But ever since I read Jimmy Breslin's book The Church That Forgot Christ, and now seeing this list, it's really hard to see it.


AVIATION: What not to say on a flight...

It was August 21, 2001.

Myself, Karl (the Ace) Ludwig and Ace's brother Keith were waiting to get on a plane at New Orleans International Airport heading home after three days of carousing in the Big Easy. It was 96 degrees with 1000% humidity, and we were nursing ripping hangovers. We seemed to be standing in the jetway forever, and the three of us idiots began cracking jokes. I came out with the line from Airplane II, "Would everyone please move to the back of the plane who is not carrying a bomb!" Karl was doing George Carlin's airplane routine. "In the unlikely event of a water landing.... Now what exactly constitutes a water landing? Is it just me or does water landing sound an awful lot like Crashing into the ocean!"  

The people around us were giggling. Everyone knew we were goofing off No one gave it a second thought.

Exactly three weeks later, 9/11 happened.

It's been 16.5 years. And it's still way too soon.

Nathalie Tremblay found that out the hard way.

The 53 year old Canadian woman was boarding an Air Canada flight in Ft. Lauderdale last Tuesday when a flight attendant inquired about a black bag in an overhead bin. When the flight attendant asked whose bag it was, Tremblay answered "There's a bomb in it."

This caused the flight attendant to report to the captain, who had the plane evacuated, the terminal closed and the authorities called in.

Tremblay's boyfriend, clearly the smarter of the two, told her not to make jokes like that, but it was too late.

Tremblay was arrested and charged with one count of making a false bomb threat.

I'm not looking for this dimwit to do hard time or anything. But jeez how stupid can you be?

Here is linked to WPTV's West Palm Beach story

https://www.wptv.com/news/state/womans-stupid-joke-about-bomb-on-fll-flight-leads-to-arrest-bso


I normally like to end these posts with a goofball story like that, but I would be remiss if I didn't express my sorrow over the death of Detective Brian Simonsen in the line of duty Tuesday evening. To all my family and friends who are cops, thank you for keeping us safe and please be careful.


Thank you.

Enjoy your President's Day Weekend

Weekly Mail February 10, 2019

Hey:

OK kids, the theme for the first part of this week's post is TV choices.


To watch or not to watch? That is the question.


We'll start with last Sunday...


SUPER BOWL LIII

Didn't watch any of it- Not one minute of it.

Didn't see Gladys Knight, or Maroon 5, and all the good commercials I caught on You Tube.  Sounds like I didn't miss anything either. The game was a snooze fest with no scoring featuring two despicable teams. I caught a couple episodes of Blue Bloods I had on the DVR, and Timmy and I watched The Super Bowl's Funniest Commercials hosted by Boomer Esiason and Daniela Ruah from NCIS Los Angeles. I was in bed by the time the 4th quarter started, and didn't know who won til I woke up Monday morning. 10 years ago, the thought of pulling something like that was unimaginable.


Onto Tuesday....

THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS


Didn't watch most of it.


I flipped over to it during commercials of the St. John's-Marquette NCAA basketball game that was much more entertaining than Captain Orange speaking to Congress.

Besides, why watch it when I could log onto Facebook for unbiased analysis. My Trumpster friends of course said it was the greatest speech since the Sermon on the Mount, and the not my president crowd said it was pure drivel.

I did manage to catch Trump as he talked about Grace Eline, the brave 10 year old girl who raised money for St. Jude's Children's Center, only to become a cancer patient herself there. After months of chemo she was declared cancer free in October. That was a nice moment.

The next time I changed the channel, Trump was saying if he hadn't been elected President, we'd be at war with North Korea right now. As Warner Wolf used to say, "Turn off your TV's right there"

More on Warner Wolf later in this broadcast.

St. John's BTW, managed to hold on in a really good game against Marquette in Milwaukee. Still drives me nuts watching all these teams bomb away from neverneverland. One kid on Marquette hit a shot that was closer to half court than the foul line. I realize part of the problem with the Johnnies is that they don't have much size, but it's everybody now.  And after the Red Storm pulled off the upset against Marquette, they proceeded to come home and spit the bit against Providence at the Garden Saturday afternoon. 1 step forward, two steps back.

then on Friday....

PREGAME TRIBUTE TO 1994 RANGERS....

Yeah I was torn on this... Was looking forward to seeing Messier, Graves, Leetch, Richter and the rest of the 1994 Stanley Cup Champs. But it started to bug me that not only are the Rangers just about halfway to another 54 year drought, but it reminded me that not one of my teams have won a championship in a quarter of a century. That's f-ck-ng depressing.

So I ended up recording the ceremony, but Tara and I were out at a liquor store Friday evening, and she was like, "Why don't you get yourself some red wine." So I ended up watching the game drinking red wine (Neil Diamond/UB40 style) and reminiscing as heroes of my youth came up to the broadcast booth to shoot the $h-t with Sam Rosen and Joe Michaletti. My favorite was John JD Davidson who used to be the Rangers color man. (He's now the GM of the Columbus Blue Jackets.) It was great hearing him on TV again.

June of 1994 might just be the most insane month I have ever lived through, both for personal reasons and because we had the Rangers winning, the Knicks almost winning, and of course OJ Simpson and the Bronco chase. There was a bar on 69th Street and 51st Avenue called Sessions which had a large screen TV and not a huge crowd, so I went there and watched the Cup Finals. My mind wandered back to those simpler times of yesteryear as I drank my vino.

I had it in my mind that any time one of my teams honors it's great players, my team usually goes on to lose. In this Bar Room BS, we look at some of these games and see if my memory served me correctly.

Friday night was no exception as the Rangers managed to get themselves shut out 3-0.


_______________________________________________________________________________



CRIME: If you had Warner Wolf never getting arrested, YOU LOST!

Like many folks, legendary NY sportscaster Warner Wolf decided to retire to Florida a few years back. The place he moved to was called Classic Plantation Estates.

I can just hear his thoughts on this...

"Give me a break! I've interviewed and covered hundreds of African American athletes throughout my career. So change the rule! If the place you are living is known as a plantation, go out and deface the sign. Boom!"

The cops in Naples said Let's Go to the Videotape! and saw Warner removing the offending letters. He was arrested this past Thursday and charged with criminal mischief causing over $1000 in property damage.

He was released on $5,000 bail, but not before having his mug shot taken. It also looks like he's wearing orange prison garb, though I'm wondering if that's just an orange shirt he had on. He's due back in court next month according to TMZ.


POLITICS: Trouble in Virginia

I need to get this out of the way, just in case I ever decide to run for office*.

Halloween 1998 at Donovan's. I bought some clown makeup at the costume store in Long Island City, put the white base on, then took a red make up pencil and dotted my face. I took a black make-up pencil and darken my eyebrows, the put on a blue sweat shirt and deck shoes. My goal was to look like my best bud Razor Ray McGarvey. Whether I accomplished this or not is up for debate, but I don't want anyone to think I was trying to make some inappropriate racist statement.

This flashback came to mind as not one but two prominent Virginia pols were discovered to have worn blackface makeup back in the day. Governor Ralph Northam was discovered to have either worn blackface or at the very least had someone wearing blackface in a picture on his page in his medical school yearbook. Later in the week Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring also admitted at one time he donned blackface makeup for a party.

Herring is third in line if the governor is forced to resign. The second in line Lt. Gov Justin Fairfax is now facing two separate accusations of sexual assault. One of which took place in Boston during the 2004 DNC.

My $0.02 on all this? Well Northam also had someone dressed as a Klansman on his page, so I mean even if you wanted to give him a pass on the blackface, (which I wouldn't BTW) there's no ambiguity about the KKK, so I say give Northam the gas face and force him out.

But am I wrong for asking this question: The yearbook in question is from 1984. Why are we getting around to questioning this now? It took us 35 years to figure out this wasn't a good look for Northam? How did this not come up in his campaign, or in his earlier political career? I haven't seen that question explored, (it's possible I haven't really looked). I mean I could see if he graduated last June, but 1984?  Things that make you go hmmmm...

Obviously the sexual assault case against Fairfax needs to be investigated and addressed. That's a hell of a lot more serious than some idiots wearing blackface. At this rate, the guy who vacuums the carpet in the Virginia Capitol Building is going to be the state's next governor.


*********************************************************************************

Timmy had his Blue and Gold luncheon on Saturday for the Cub Scouts. I can't put into words how proud I am of him. As Letterman used to say when he talked about his son "I'm going to pull a Kathie-Lee (Gifford) on all of you."  He and the rest of the kids in his den are a really special group of kids.

Also, as much as I complain about life, one of the things I am truly lucky to have experienced is getting to know some of the folks who come up with the New York Post's legendary headlines. Friday's Bezos Exposes Pecker regarding Jeff Bezos fighting back against David Pecker and the National Enquirer was pure genius.

Incidentally, this past Thursday marked the 15th anniversary of the first story I ever worked on for the Post. I got sent out on a Friday night to cover an illegal cigarette bust in Jamaica, Queens. Showing my mom and dad my name on a story the next morning was one of the great thrills I've ever had.

Oh and in some breaking news check this out..

https://nypost.com/2019/02/10/snl-loves-pecker-and-the-ny-post/

Enjoy,

and Have a Great Week





*BTW there are about 99 billion reasons why I should never run for office. Many of you bore witness to some of these reasons and I'll thank you in advance for not bringing them up to the rest of the class.

Weekly Mail February 3, 2019

Hope you are enjoying the game.

Been catching up on Blue Bloods and Hawaii Five-0

Proud to say I haven't watched one second of coverage today.

And here's why....




FOOTBALL:

On January 4, 2000, Bill Belichick wrote a note on a piece of paper saying "I resign as HC of NYJ." That was 19 years ago last month.

19 years ago.

Since then he has led the New England Patriots to 16 AFC Eastern Division Titles, 13 AFC Title Games, 9 Super Bowls, and 5 Lombardi Trophies, with a 6th possibly coming tonight.

Every time you think they are going away, they come back, like a bad case of eczema, (or as Timmy calls it, eczemir) After what that scumbag pulled on the Jets, weaseling his way out of his Jet contract, I hoped he would fail miserably. Instead he keeps on winning.

With the same quarterback. 

Who is now 41 years old.

Should I marvel at this most amazing athletic accomplishment? Should I accept it as something remarkable, something to tell the grandkids about? Should I finally acknowledge that Belichick is a football genius, the greatest coach of all time? Even better than his mentor Bill Parcells or the great Vince Lombardi?

Or should I continue to do what I've been doing? Chalking it up to the football gods having clearly deciding to punish me for something I did or didn't do. Should I continue my struggle to avoid watching football as much as I can? Tonight's game is the 4th straight one I won't be watching, I'm not even watching Maroon 5 right now. Adam Levine could be dropping his draws as we speak and I won't know about it till tomorrow.

I can never give Belichick and Brady their props, not with all the crap they've pulled these past 19 years. There what's been proven (Spygate, Deflategate) and what I suspect (that TB12 diet is a sham).

There's a lot of things wrong with the NFL, pro wrestling style officiating is the latest issue. But the Patriots domination is right up there. It is just disgusting.

And it's not like the Rams aren't a bunch of lowlifes in their own right either. They've twice ditched cities and fan bases, once leaving LA for St. Louis only to return to LA twenty something years later, leaving St. Louis with an empty football stadium that is still being paid for by the cities taxpayers. I hate teams that move, I loathe teams that move more than once. (See also the Raiders). Obviously I don't want the Pats to win tonight, but the Rams winning won't give me any satisfaction either.


I heard somewhere that the NBA was actually trending more on social media this week than was the NFL, unheard of at this time of year. And for that believe it or not, we can thank our New York Knickerbockers.


BASKETBALL: Kristaps, we hardly knew ye:

A few days after the Knicks drafted Kristaps Porzingis in 2015, my dad and my sister were at the Met game at Citi Field. Porzingis was chosen to throw out the first pitch was roundly booed, pretty much the way he was booed at the Barclay's Center by Knick fans the night he was drafted.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I thought he was going to be an All-Star, but I did remember thinking that was kind of harsh treatment for a 20 year old kid.

He ended up making those boo birds look silly by putting up solid numbers. In his third season in the NBA, he was averaging 22 points, 6 rebounds and 2 and a half blocks per game. And he was still only 22 years old.

Problem is he had the injury bug. Last year on February 6, he tore his ACL. ending his season putting this season in doubt. Indeed he hadn't played a minute all year.

So maybe on the surface I shouldn't be that upset that the Knicks sent the future of their franchise packing this week. After all, they were able to pick up two expiring contracts and a solid young point guard, plus a couple of future first round picks, all for a kid who can't seem to stay healthy. They will have cap space for two max contracts. Plus the way they have been sucking all year, they have a better than average chance of ending up with the number 1 pick in the draft, (hello Zion Willamson)

But alas, these are the Knicks. Do we really think this is going to work out for them?

Kevin Durant is going to want to leave Golden State and an almost guaranteed annual ticket to the NBA Finals to come here? It sounds like Kyrie Irving is looking to get out of Boston, but does he really think the Knicks are a better option?

Do we have any faith that anybody at MSG can take this cap space and high draft pick and make something of it?

It's funny, (actually it's the opposite of funny,)  but the Knicks have been bad almost exactly as long as the Patriots have been good. Maybe this is where things start to turn around. Maybe the Pats will lose to the team they beat for their first Super Bowl and that will end that viscous circle. Maybe the Knicks will sign Durant, Irving or maybe get Anthony Davis from New Orleans, and draft a couple of studs.

Maybe I'll hit the lottery and retire to the Bahamas.

Maybe.


Let's head across the pond shall we?


THE ROYAL FAMILY: DWE (Driving While Elderly)

I forgot to put this in last week's post, but did you see where Price Phillip, the 97 year old husband of Queen Elizabeth was involved in a car accident?

When I first heard this, I figured OK, his driver and another driver were involved in an accident.

Nope.

The prince was driving a Land Rover and he collided with a Kia. The two females in the Kia were injured and taken to the hospital. Or as they say in England, to hospital. They were treated and released.

And naturally this begs the question, or two questions from where I'm sitting.

Why is the queen's husband driving himself and more importantly why is he driving at age 97?

Are the royals so hard up for money that they can't afford a driver? I mean, I realize they aren't really in charge of anything over there, but still I'm sure they have the equivalent of our secret service protection. Surely one of them can drive the prince to 7-11 right?

I suppose saying that one shouldn't be allowed to drive at such an advanced age would lead to charges of ageism against my fair publication. But I also think some common sense should prevail here. Maybe if you are 97 and NOT a monarch, you should be able to drive. But it's the opinion of this humble writer that royalty over a certain age should spring for an Uber if not outright hire a driver.

Now we have some good news from the UK.



THE BEATLES: It was 50 years ago....

This past Wednesday marked the 50th anniversary of the Beatles last public performance. Their January 30th 1969 mini concert on the roof of their Apple Records office in London, which would also serve as the ending to their documentary Let it Be.

And so, it was announced on Wednesday that not only will a remastered version of Let it Be going to be re-released , but 55 hours of never before seen footage of the film project have been given to Academy Award winning director Peter Jackson to make another film.

The dates for both project have not been announced, but Let it Be was originally released on May 13, 1970, about a month after they had announced their split. So I would guess we are looking at around a year from this coming May.

Every once in a while, someone posts the entire film on YouTube before the web police take it down, so I've seen it a couple of times. The dialogue is kind of hard to understand, for a number of reasons, their thick Liverpool accents not the least of them, but the music of course is awesome.

I can't wait for this.


Enjoy the rest of the game.

And have a great week