Weekly Mail 2018 Year in Review Part One

January

JT Miller! Happy New Year baby!

January 1- Rangers beat Buffalo at Citi Field in the 2018 Winter Classic. Felt like that was the last time they would win last season


From the "It Could Have Been Worse" Dept

January 13- I thought the Islanders kicking the crap out of my Rangers was bad news. Till I heard the Hawaii had been under a ballistic missile threat (with two of Tara's cousins down there nonetheless)


February

Wow! St. John's beat Duke? Sorry I didn't get to see that..

February 3-and they beat 'Nova a few days later. Other than that, it was another long season on Union Turnpike.


It’s not often said that Philadelphia did the country a favor. At least not lately

February 4-The last time I could think of was when they hosted the Declaration of Independence signing. On this night, the Eagles beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl.


So awesome!

February 7- The winner of the Gerber Baby photo contest was a little baby boy with Down Syndrome.  A much needed feel good story.


March

Apparently today it is legal to buy booze in the state of Indiana on Sunday for the first time. I wonder if this has anything to do with their former governor now being our VP. Anyway, thanks Jamie Griffin for the tip, and bottoms up Indiana!


March 4- This is one of my favorite stories of the year. And I still think it's because Pence left the governor's mansion for Washington DC. Otherwise Indiana might have had to give up booze altogether.


REXIT

March 13- The carousel that is President trump's cabinet continued. And it would only get worse. Nice knowing ya Rex Tillerson.

Well this was distressing news to wake up to.....

March 17-An otherwise glorious day as Tara Tim and I marched in the St. Patrick's Day Parade, was marred by UVA becoming the first 1 seed to lose to a 16 in the NCAA tournament.


April

No thanks Mike.


23- Rumours were flying that Mike Francesa was looking to come back to the FAN. No chance right?



Jeezus, they just listed all the USC QB’s drafted in the first round since 1990. Not a pretty picture.


April 26- Todd Marinovich, Carson Palmer, Matt Leinart, Mark Sanchez. A Mt Rushmore of busts. (well maybe not Palmer) Could Sam Darnold break the streak?


May

I’m not going to jinx it, I hope it happens


May 3- The Mets were getting no-hit for 6-2/3. They lost 11-0. Good times.

Am I freaking reading this right?

May 9- I come out of my office to go to lunch and I get an alert on my phone that the Mets just batted out of order. They make the Bad News Bears look like the 1927 Yankees.

 I wouldn’t have minded Winnipeg winning today to give their fans some excitement, but Vegas going to the Finals is quite unbelievable

May 20- Not counting when the NHL first expanded and put all the new teams in one conference, the Vegas Golden Knights became the most successful first year expansion team.

Roseanne Barr-ed!

May 29- I'm here all week folks. Don't forget to try the veal.


June

deGrom just loaded the bases, then struck two guys out to get out of the inning unscathed.

And part of me was like, "That's it Jake. Put 'em behind early. I'm sick of seeing you pitch 8 shutout innings only to have the bullpen implode on you. Let them bail YOU out with the bats for once."

June 2- It didn't stop here either my friends. This was all season long.

Final event of the day... Boy Scouts bridge ceremony. Thanks to our leader Paul & the amazing Kelly Ann Burns-Lehner. We are beyond thankful for you both.

June 8- (Suzanne Wolff) Cub Scouts have been our salvation these past two years. Thank you Paul and Kelly-Ann.


 I said it would never happen, now it's happened twice in four years. WTG Justify!

June 9- How come when I say, I'll never win the lottery, THAT prediction comes true? 

From Mike Lupica’s Sunday sports column Shooting from the Lip....

“The way things are going, I think Trump is going to issue a pardon for Dr. Richard Kimble of “The Fugitive.”

I haven’t laughed out loud at anything Lupica has written in a long time, but that one got me laughing.

June 10- Turns out that would be the last time I'd laugh at a Lupica column, as the Daily News cut him loose shortly thereafter.

Gary Bettman gets voted in to the hockey hall of fame and Joe Crowley gets voted out of Congress?

Folks I think Weekly Mail may be coming out a bit early this week!!!

June 26- It didn't, but needless to say I was an angry man that night...

Next week July-December

Weekly Mail 3rd Annual Christmas Eve Special

Thank you for tuning in..


So normally we do a song parody and post some clips related to Christmas songs and such, but this year we are going to take a different approach.


Now I don't know if it's because I've had an extra hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year, or what it is, but to me this has been a very strange holiday season.

Thanksgiving was early this year, which means we had one extra week in November to be inundated with holiday songs and TV specials. They lit the Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center on November 28. Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer were on before December 1st. And I think that extra time gave the thought police more opputunity to come up with crazy stuff.

To wit:


RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER-

Alleged Crimes- Child Abuse, Bullying, Unfair Labor practices.

A video uploaded on the Huffington Post points out all of the above.  Donner both verbally and physically abuses Rudolph, putting on a black nose cover that changes Rudolph's voice (and restricts his nasal passageway), the name calling by the other reindeer during reindeer training, including coach Comet.

Then you have Hermey (who looks like former Jet and Dolphin QB Chad Pennington) and the head elf (who sounds like he need to take some ExLax) arguing because Hermey wants to be a dentist. Hermey is forbidden to take his union mandated coffee break by the head elf because he didn't make enough toys.

The video also points out that Santa berates Donner over Rudolph's nose and Clarice's father forbids his daughter from associating with Rudolph (racism).

I'd like to point out that this version of Santa seems tougher to work for than George Steinbrenner, that the opening credits claim the show was created in the year 1064, (instead of 1964) and that I can't believe it took folks 54 years to figure all this out.

I don't know it's because we have a President who insults his staff on a daily basis, or because of the #metoo movement or some combination of the two. which leads me to...


BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE-

Alleged Crimes- Sexual Harassment, Date Rape

For years people have innocently sang along to this 1944 holiday classic. However closer examination of the lyrics seem to suggest some unsavory issues.

The neighbors might think (baby, it's bad out there)
Say what's in this drink? (no cabs to be had out there)

Does that sound like a romantic pre-Christmas date, or a night at Bill Cosby's house to you?

I simply must go (but baby, it's cold outside)
The answer is no (but baby, it's cold outside)

Hey man, no means no. Order her an Uber and call it a night, right?  Hey, I dig.



FROSTY THE SNOWMAN-

Alleged Crimes- Indecent Exposure, Smoking in front of children, kidnapping, first degree murder


I haven't heard much about this one, but while we are on the subject... You have a snowman, smoking a pipe wearing nothing but a hat that may have been stolen from a lousy magician. The kidnapping charge is spotty as Karen was willing to got to the North Pole, but when the magician locked Frosty in and melted him? That should get you a lethal injection in some states.


GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER

Alleged Crime- Hit and Run, Manslaughter

I have not heard this classic once this year. Have the grandmas of the world united? Could this be a gender thing? Why can't it be Grandpa got run over by a Reindeer? Which leads me to...



GENDER NEUTRAL SANTA CLAUS



A site called GraphicSprings.com posted a survey asking how would you "rebrand" Santa. The last question of the survey was what gender should Santa be? 70% of the respondents said male. The other 30% said either female or gender neutral.

My first instinct was to call BS on this. Santa will always be a jolly old fat guy in a red suit. But let's be honest, if us dudes were really the ones running Christmas, nothing would get done. We were a couple of gifts short on Friday, and Tara was freaking out. I told Tara there was a time in my life where if I started my Christmas shopping on December 21, it would be an early start.


No, I was the king of Christmas shopping on the 23rd and 24th. I told Tara that and she looked at me like she saw a ghost. My point is that it really is the women in our lives that make Christmas, well, Christmas, so maybe a female or gender neutral Santa isn't the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my entire life.

and then there was


THE HOLLAND TUNNEL

On the Jersey City side of the Holland Tunnel, they put a wreath over the O in Holland. Perfect.

However, they put another wreath over the U in Tunnel, so it looks like Tonnel. That didn't really bother anybody.

They put a tree over the N in Holland, and all hell broke loose.

Some guy actually called the Port Authority and put in a complaint. When they basically told him to go F himself, he filmed a video and started an on-line petition which received over 2,000 signatures. The Port Authority ended up conducting their own poll and 21,000 people actually voted in this thing. 41.6% of the voters wanted the tree put over the A and the wreath over the U taken down altogether.

Thank goodness Donald Trump took care of ISIS so that the Port Authority didn't have to worry about little things like terrorism.


Here's the bottom line...

The idea behind Rudolph is that people or reindeer who are different can still be productive members of society, and shame on anybody who makes fun of them. As for Santa being a jerk, well, he does have a naughty list so not everyone thinks he's the bees knees, especially those in whose stocking he puts coal.

Baby, It's Cold Outside, I believe is a young couple who really dig each other. The woman wants to stay, but she wants this guy to give her a good reason. Otherwise, she'd just be like "Yo, I'm outta here!" Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything.... This is just my opinion. Maybe the guy really is a creep. I just don't think the guy who wrote it was thinking of anything sinister.

Gender Neutral Santa Claus? In spirit I can see it, in reality, Santa's a male who couldn't get things done without his wife. Let's leave it at that.

As for the Holland Tunnel, maybe if you didn't have to wait 45 minutes to go through it every day, people wouldn't have time to worry about where the wreaths and trees go.


And the bottom, BOTTOM line to me is this, doesn't life suck enough without having to create these controversies? If the shows bother you, don't watch them. I know the songs are hard to get away from, but try to block them out if they bother you that much. For Pete's sake, the federal government shut down for the third time this year, we are currently without an attorney general, a chief of staff and a defense secretary, and not one, not a single one of my sports teams finished above .500 this year.

In all seriousness, we've all had enough heartache and pain this year. As noted philosopher Rodney King once asked, "Can't we all just get along?"


Man, I'm old enough to remember when the only thing that got people riled up during the holidays was pictures of The Baby Jesus.



Merry Christmas Everyone

Weekly Mail December 16, 2018

Hi There:

So this will be our fall finale. We will publish our annual Christmas Eve Special on well, Christmas Eve, and then we'll have to see if we will do a year in review. I'm on the fence about that. But we'll definitely have a Christmas Eve special, 8 PM December 24 on FB.




Our 43rd President, George W. Bush often had issues saying certain words. For example he pronounced nuclear as newcular. You also couldn't tell if he was saying terrorist or tourist. On Saturday I found myself  calling the tourists terrorists.

I consider it a privilege as a New Yorker to be able to walk through Times Square on Saturday afternoons. I know people save up money and work to the bone to come here at least once in their lives to say that they did it. (I felt that way when I crossed Abbey Road back in 1998) To that end, I challenge myself to a game.... I walk through Times Square to get as close to 47th Street as I can before I cry uncle and turn towards 6th Avenue. On Saturday, I got as far as 45th Street before I threw in the proverbial towel. I blame the fact that I'm getting old, was off the last two weeks and I don't spend as much time in the city as I used to.

Timmy BTW, has gotten into the annoying habit, whenever we head to Manhattan to see my in-laws of saying "we're going to New York City"  The last time he did this, I finally set him straight.

"Tim, we are going to THE CITY. We are not from Des Moines, Iowa. We are less than 5 miles from the Queens/Nassau border which is technically New York City. Please for the love of all holy things, please stop telling people you are going to New York City."

I think he's got it. We'll see the next time we head to New York City.


Speaking of Queens, one of my family's favorite places burned down in a fire on Thursday morning.

Sidetracks on 45th and Queens Boulevard, where we've had the last few Easter dinners, was one of several businesses that caught fire. Seven firefighters and 5 civilians were injured in the 5 alarm blaze. Thankfully, there were no fatalities.

As bummed as I am about Sidetracks burning down, kudos galore to the FDNY who saved an apartment building from burning down, saving many more families from being homeless this holiday season.

Even in this devastation, there were a couple of things that made me chuckle....

1) One of the businesses that burned was The Romantic Depot, a sex toy, lingerie shop. I had no idea that was there. It must have just recently opened. I wonder if they carried the Come Hither Rabbit Sex Toy I asked Santa Claus for. I guess I'll have to wait now till my birthday.

2) As pointed out by a couple of my St. Mary's peeps, some of these news outlets referred to the row of stores that burned down as a strip mall. Please note-There are NO strip malls in that part of Queens Boulevard. Trust me. I live in Oceanside, and I have two strip malls within feet of my front door. And about 10 within a mile of my house. Long Beach Road has strip malls about every 27 feet or so. A bunch of stores together and some parking spaces. Trust me, if you spent anytime looking for a parking spot to go to Sidetracks, you know that row of stores is by no definition of the term, a strip mall.

Again, thank goodness no one died and I'm sorry to those who lost their business. Here's hoping they rebuild and come back bigger and stronger than before.



HELP WANTED:

The next time you are having a crappy day at work (which for me will probably be today) just think it could be a lot worse. You could be Donald Trump's White House Chief of Staff.

Talk about a job nobody wants. Andrea Pteri of  The Washington Post created a job posting for the gig. Check it out here. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2018/12/14/job-posting-white-house-chief-staff/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.ae79c2cf06eb



And speaking of jobs nobody wants, the Jets are most likely to be seeking out a new head coach once this monstrosity of a season comes to an end in two weeks.

So let's see, Al Groh, disciplinarian, Herm Edwards, players coach, Eric Mangini, disciplinarian, Rex Ryan players coach, Todd Bowles, disciplinarian (kind of) so I guess Krusty the Clown will be the next Jets coach.

Actually, what the Jets most likely will be looking for is a coach with a background coaching offense. All the coaches they've had since Bill Parcells have been defensive coaches.  With a potential franchise QB like Sam Darnold, the idea is to get someone who can develop an offensive to fit Darnold. I'm all for that.

I'm tempted to say that I'm so sick of the carousel. And I am. But I also think the Jets should stick with Mike Macagnan as their GM. Unless they hire a big name coach who wants to run the whole thing, but even then I still thing Macagnan should stay. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I think he's done a decent job. I know some of his draft picks have been spotty, but I also believe one of the problems in this town is that we cut loose our GM's too quickly. I really think he's got the football smarts to build a winner. The Jets last couple of GM's Mike Tannenbaum and John Idzik were more money managers. Unless he really spits the bit the next couple of drafts and/or signs a bunch of free agents who do squat, I'd give Macagnan more of a shot.


I know this one was kind of lame. I hope to make up for it on Christmas Eve,

Sorry for the delay

Have a Great Week

Weekly Mail December 10, 2018

Good Evening:

I was dreading this past Saturday. I knew it as going to be hard.

But once again, I was reminded of the blessings we have in our lives. Even in the worst of times.

For the family and friends we got to see on Saturday, for all those who wrote or texted or sent a like to what I wrote the other day, I can tell you that all of you made a very hard day a bit easier.

Once again. From the bottom of my heart, and my family's heart.


Thank you.


********************************************************************************

OBITUARY

George HW Bush 1924-2018


The first time I got to vote for President was in 1992, the year we had the George Bush, Bill Clinton, Ross Perot trifecta to chose from. And I remember that I couldn't wait to get to PS 229 that November evening to vote our 41st President out of office.

The man who said he wanted to build a kinder, gentler nation hadn't always been neither kind nor gentle. During the campaign, he had yelled "Sit down and shut up" to a group of POW families. The 1988 campaign was still fresh in my mind, and that had been considered a mud bath. The economy was still sputtering, and there was just a feeling that Bush was a man whose time had come and gone. I felt it was time to have a President who was my father's age, not my grandfather's age.


I don't regret how I voted.


And yet....


1992 was almost 27 years ago. It's impossible to see the world as a 45 year old when you are 19. There are things about George HW Bush I couldn't appreciate at that age.  The thought that people were calling this man a "wimp" when he flew combat missions in World War II, that he ever joined the war effort at 18, when he had the opportunity to go to college should have dispelled that wimp persona once and for all.

And you just have to look back at the disaster that was the 2016 campaign for more proof. I remember how they said the 1992 campaign was dirty, that was a Sunday brunch compared to what went down two years ago. The incident with the POW families, while not good, was one bad day on the campaign trail. Donald Trump made that a daily occurrence.

And when all is said and done, if you truly want to know the measure of the man, look at the friendships he developed after he left office. One of the things I wished would have happened during Bush 41's five day wake and funeral, was a eulogy from President Clinton. I realize that when you have a son who was also a former President, he probably should be the one to deliver the main
eulogy.   But everything I have ever read about the almost father/son relationship that had developed between the former rivals was not only very touching, but also should serve as a lesson in these hard cutthroat times.

When you are 15 years old, and one man has been President for literally half your life, it stands to reason that you might want a change. So naturally I was disappointed when Bush was elected in 1988, but again, if ever a person had the resume to be President, it was him.

And I can tell you when I most respected him as a leader, and it wasn't the Persian Gulf war, or even the fall of the Berlin Wall. It was in August of 1991, during the coup in the last days of the Soviet Union.

We had no idea who or what had their hands on the Soviets nukes, nobody was really sure where Mikhail Gorbachev was, it was about as scary a time I can remember, and I really can't believe more folks didn't discuss this during this past week.  But Bush, who was on vacation in Kenebunkport at the time, came on TV and said "Look, the majority of coups fail." He was a cool as a cucumber and basically said "I got this." Sure enough, the coup did fail and Boris Yeltsin took over.  To me that was Bush 41's finest hour.

One last story.... The first time the Town Hall Format for debates was used, it was that famous 1992 election. ABC's Carole Simpson was the moderator, and many conservatives felt she was unfair to Bush. At one point a person in the audience asked about the high illiteracy rate in the country, and Simpson said "Why don't we ask the education President about it." It was probably a cheap shot.  And Simpson said she caught grief for it..... but not from the President.

No from President George HW Bush, Carole Simpson received a handwritten note, thanking her for doing a great job moderating the debate.

I'm glad he got the sendoff that he did. I'm glad he'll be remembered fondly, even by those who didn't agree with him. I think in the end he might not have always been kind and gentle, but as politicians go, and compared to what we have now, I think he was.



BASEBALL: Mets trade

Very mixed about this deal.

The past few times the Mets have traded for all-star second basemen, they turned out to be Flushing flops. Carlos Baerga and Roberto Alomar come to mind. Robinson Cano is 36 years old and coming off a 'roid suspension. Not to mention he's got over $100 million left on his contract. That just looks like a recipe for disaster.

And this relief pitcher they got looks almost too good to be true. Edwin Diaz is 25 years old, and he saved 57 games last year. Even I, who considers the save to be an overrated stat, is impressed by that. Can he handle the white hot spotlight that is New York? Time will tell.

Still I have to give Met GM Brodie Van Wagenen credit. He wanted to make a splash and he did. Maybe one of the prospects he gave up will turn into an All-Star but I venture to guess that they won't. Jay Bruce seemed like a good guy but was a bit too inconsistent for my liking, and Anthony Swarzak didn't break my heart by leaving.  This is one we are just going to have to keep our fingers crossed and hope that Cano has a couple of good years left. And that Diaz proves to be good in the clutch.



LAW AND ORDER: Illegal snowballs

The town of Severance Colorado has some weird laws.

Only dogs and cats are considered pets in Severance, so I guess that goldfish you won at the state fair has to go down the toilet.

And until last week, snowball fights were illegal in Severance. A 9 year old kid saw to it that at least that law was overturned.

Dane Best and the rest of his class began writing letters to the town legislature looking to have the ban reversed.

He was invited to present his case to the board last Monday night and the ban was unanimously lifted.

According to Kyle Rietkerk, the assistant town supervisor, the ban was put into place as part of a larger overall ban of "stones and missiles" being thrown. Snowballs were considered missiles. Go figure. I would have asked Mr. Rietkerk if a snowball was considered a missile, what was the town's thoughts on semi-automatic rifles. But I guess that is for another day.

For now, we raise a glass to young Dane Best. He fought the system and won. Good for him. Good for America.


Sorry this got out late. Our fall finale is next week, followed by our Christmas Eve Special.

Have a Great Week

The Sadness of December 8

Earlier this year, I posted a meme on Facebook, asking people to recall the first news story they could remember. I had always claimed that John Lennon's murder was the first story I could recall, but that ended up not being quite right.

What I recalled was how Lennon's killing pushed the other big stories of the day off the front pages. No less a figure than Walter Cronkite shared my observation. He led his CBS Evening News broadcast the following night with this : "The death of a man who sang and played the guitar overshadows the news from Poland, Iran, and Washington tonight.".  If the most trusted man in America was having trouble wrapping his head around this, how could I, a mere 7 year old?

As time wore on, and I got more into the music, and learned about what life was like before and after the sixties, I realized just how big a deal the events of December 8, 1980 were. Every year on that date, I would read the stories, like Jimmy Breslin's famous column from that night's Daily News, and listen to the clip of Howard Cosell breaking the news to his Monday Night Football audience. Every year I spent at least a small part of that day remembering what had happened, wondering about what might have been. Would there have been a reunion? More new albums? Concerts? The thoughts of what might have been made December 8, even for a little bit, a day of of sadness.

Until December 8, 2007.

I was already awake very early that Saturday morning, though I had been out late the night before with Tara and my in-laws. Our phone rang in the apartment, and I answered it quickly. It was my Mom, letting us know that my sister had just had her baby.  Kris hadn't been due till February so naturally there was lots of concern. "Look", Mom said obviously hearing my worry, "You're an uncle now. You have a niece, Rebecca. That's what we need to focus on."  Tara would pretty much repeat the same thing to me. Focus on the positive.

Sure enough, Becky pulled through. She came home in February and continued to grow and soon enough, we were celebrating her first birthday.

December 8 was now a happy day, a day to celebrate. A happy time. Mom's birthday is two days later, Christmas right around the corner.

And we had some great parties too. There were the big ones out, but also ones where it was just the family. Either way watching her grow up, along with Timmy and later Rachel was pure joy.

And now?

Well, my father put it beautifully over the summer, we were lucky to have these 10 years. We'll have those 10 December 8th's to look back on. Eventually, we may smile a bit when we think of them.

We'll gather together this year and try our best to focus on those good memories.  It won't be easy, shoot it might be close to impossible. But that's what we aim for.

I just know that from now on, December 8 will go back to being a day of thinking about what's missing, a day of emptiness, of what might have been.

Just a day of sadness.