Weekly Mail December 20 2015

Hello (from the other side)


       I like where I live now. Oceanside is a very nice community. I've managed to make several new friends there, I love going to the parks, I like being just a couple miles from the beach. It's a nice place to live.

But Woodside still feels like home.

      I think back to the walks I used to take on Saturday night from my house to Roosevelt Avenue, either on my way to Donovan's or Shelley's or even getting the train to Manhattan, I didn't realize how much I would miss those walks. At the time, I probably thought they were a pain in the a$$. But the other night, I met up with Ray and Karl and Ed at Donovan's, and getting off the LIRR and walking up Roosevelt Avenue,. I had a very strange sense of nostalgia come over me. After almost 10 years of marriage and 6 years after moving to Nassau County, I can't really describe how it was. It just felt good to be back in the old hood.

      A couple of years ago, the Donovan family sold the bar/restaurant to Jimmy Jacobson and Danny Connor, the former Donovan's long time ace bartender and the latter his brother in law. Chris Santangelo, another bar tending great and budding TV star, was hired as the manager. It was a brilliant way to keep the place in the family, to preserve what makes the place so awesome.
 From 1994 till a year after I got married, I spent pretty much every Thanksgiving Eve at Donovan's, and more than a few New Year's Eves. I spent many a Saturday night talking sports with the late great Pete McGuiness. Jimmy and Chris and Jimmy's brother Gary always rolled out the proverbial red carpet for me, as well as the rest of our crew. Tara brought her sister there one night, and she couldn't believe she had had that great a time and still had money left over.

 Hanging out with my soul brothers the other night,  it just felt like nothing really changed. It has changed of course, all of us are married, some of us have kids. Pete McGuiness and Tom Brophy are gone. In the past I never had to look at the Donovan's menu, I was either having one of their award winning chesseburgers or their amazing shepherds pie. (after scarfing down mozzrella sticks and potato skins) Now of course there are no more appetizers for me, and grilled chicken replaced the burgers. And with all that, it still felt very familiar.

It still felt like home.


NERDS OF THE HERD.

           I started making a list of 10 people who pissed me off for a given year back in 1991. Since the list's audience consisted of Karl, Ray and Mary, the list was mostly ex girlfriends/boyfriends, (or more likely girls who had turned us down for dates) guys who had badmouthed us, (I mean who would say bad stuff about us four?) teachers we didn't like, bosses we didn't like, and if I had a hard time coming up with 10, I would round out the list with a newsmaker or two who did something particularly loathsome.

           With the dawning of the internet, the list began to go viral, but since now it was easier for people to see it, I ran the risk of offending someone. I once got grief from a buddy of mine, who while he appreciated me sticking up for him, didn't agree with my sandwiching the gal who left him between Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein on that year's Nerd of the Herd. (hey, you mess with the bull you get the horns) Another year I gave the top prize to some college basketball player who turned her back on the flag during the national anthem. That list also included some terrorists and other criminals. I think Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra put it best "When you see Old Glory going up you better stand up a salute baby." I take my flag etiquette seriously. But I had gotten away from the spirit of what the list what supposed to be about. So I ended up doing away with it.

         I'm tempted to bring it back. There is no shortage of people who made a$$es of themselves this year. The trick is narrowing it down to 10. There are actually two people this week who could contend for the title.

         Eujin Jayla Kim, the principal of PS 169 in Sunset Park, banned any mention of Thanksgiving, Christmas or Santa Claus, and worst of all, the Pledge of Allegiance.  Now, you don't want to offend non Christians by not mentioning Christmas or Santa? I don't like it, but I can maybe see that. If you are one of those people who feel bad about what happened to the Indians 500 years ago and you don't want to celebrate Thanksgivng, I think you need to get a life, but I'll kind of sort of (but not really) respect your point of view. As the noted philosopher Rocky Balboa once said, "You call it Thanksgiving, I call it Thursday".

          But under no set of circumstances should any school in this country have any reason not to recite the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag. Preferably the way Miss Mary Anne taught me on Romper Room, (one nation under GOD, indivisible...) Yes we may be all different religions and nationalities, but if you are getting educated here in this country, there is no reason not to salute the flag. Everyone is up in arms about Donald Trump looking to keep all immigrants out, I bet there are plenty of them who would give anything to be able to come here and be considered Americans, proud to salute our flag. You want to keep people out? Start with those who don't want to.

          Then there is this tool Martin Shkreli, the 32 year old CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals.  Earlier this year, this d-ck jacked up the price of a potentially life saving drug used to treat AIDS symptoms from $13 a pill to over $750 per. He also bragged about paying 2 million for a Wu Tang Clan album and is just a general a-hole.

        This week, in the "Couldn't of happened to a nicer guy" dept, Shkreli was arrested and carted out in cuffs for federal fraud charges. Apparently he is being accused of running a Madoff-esque Ponzi scheme from a Hedge fund he was running. You can't arrest a guy for being a douche bag, but you can arrest him for stealing. Karma's a beeotch isn't it?


Want to finish up on a positive note, this being Christmas week and all, Timmy got an award this week for creative writing. He gets his good looks and brains from his mother, now he's getting something from me (besides his blazing foot speed)

Merry Christmas to all.

Have a Great Week

Weekly Mail December 13, 2015

    Sorry about missing last week. I went out to dinner with some old friends when I usually do my writing.

**RESTAURANT REVIEW RESTAURANT REVIEW RESTAURANT REVIEW**

Restaurant: Abboccato 136 West 55 Street
With Padraigin Aine Fitzsimmons, Mary Byrnes, Lizzie Coogan and Maggie Coogan Murray.

        I hadn't seen this crew since Mary's wedding back in 2009. These gals are old friends of mine from Rockaway. Patti-Ann and Mary, were summer folks like myself, while Maggie and Lizzie are natives. We spent many a crazy night bar hopping in Rockaway, and of course there were the crazy nights on McLean Avenue in Yonkers (near Mary's apt) Nothing crazy happening here, just a lot of catching up and reminiscing.
        As for the food, it was delicious. I had the baked ziti, (after bragging to them about how I was following a strict diet) and it was really good. If I had one complaint, it was the portion size, but hey maybe that was God's way of telling me to watch it. The service was also top notch, the manager didn't put a rush on us to leave which is unheard of at this time of year. I got home around the time things would just be getting interesting with this crew about 15 years ago.

4.5 Patties.


NEWS ITEM: Terrorism in San Bernardino

       There are a million ways to approach this story. Once again it ignited the gun debate in this country. Also even before we knew who was responsible, the debate of whether or not it should be called a terrorist attack came up, many people assuming that it was some disgruntled worker going off on his co-workers. (Which in part it was).

        But the angle I found the most fascinating was the one in which many people took, getting their lead from the Daily News headline the next day,  GOD ISN'T FIXING THIS the headline read, with the readout continuing "cowards who could truly end the gun scourge continue to hide behind meaningless platitudes."

         And they have a point. How many of these politicians get up and offer their thoughts and prayers for the victims, without actually doing anything about it. Who knows if they even say a prayer. I know even in this space, I've used the term myself. And I usually do offer a prayer or two. Mainly, I pray that it never happens to me, if I'm being perfectly honest here.

          Politicians, are by their nature, full of $h-t, let's call a spade a spade. Yes there are exceptions. Congressman Joe Crowley was my first ever basketball coach, and I'd vote for him any day of the week. I know that Assemblyman Phil Goldfelder has done a lot in Rockaway. And there's a gentleman out here in Lynbrook who has been incredible. But by and large, they are full of it. Some to more degrees than others, but all to some degree.

           All these people running for President now are completely and utterly full of it. Trump, Hillary, Jeb, Venus Flytrap Carson, Rubio, Cruz, and even Bernie Sanders are all full of it. Obama too, and Bush before him. It's the nature of the beast.

           It's like when someone says, "If I offended anyone." Well obviously you did dip$hit, or you wouldn't be up here apologizing. These people say whatever they have to in order to keep the press at bay and their constituents happy. Is it a shame? It sure is, a real shame. But it's the reality.

             The News is right, there is common sense gun law that should be passed. I also happen to believe in the power of prayer. That may make me sound weird in some circles. That's fine. I'm not going to slam my beliefs down your throat, I just am hoping that people who sincerely do offer their prayers up for these innocent victims don't feel like they are doing so in vain. And I offer that while they are praying for the victims, maybe we can all pray that we get someone in office who really does care about something rather than their own political survival.


SPORTS: Jets defeat Giants

WEEKLY MAIL FLASHBACK  WEEKLY MAIL FLASHBACK  WEEKLY MAIL FLASHBACK

. They play the Giants on December 6th, so get ready to lose that one and hear about how the classy Giants have won 4 Super Bowls since the Jets last won theirs in 1969. -Weekly Mail November 15, 2015 

        So one thing you'll learn about me if you haven't already is that I am lousy at predicting the outcomes of sporting events. In a million years, I didn't think the Jets were going to beat the Giants, not with Darrelle Revis hurt and the Giants having the best wide receiver in the sport. It had been 22 years since the Jets beat the Giants in a regular season game. The Jets had played well against a bad Dolphin team, and I figured they were due for another stinker. Add to this that I was watching the game with a house full of Giants fans, and all the ingredients were there for a recepie for disaster. And early on both teams were making me look like a prophet. Odell Beckham Jr made a couple of unbelievable catches, the Jet offense was puttering to a series of 3 and outs, and as late as the 4 quarter the Giants were up by 10. But the Giants apparently have an issue with closing out games much the same way the Mets did in the World Series. And Jet QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, not exactly Canton-bound, but better than what they have had in recent years, led the team on a couple of steady drives to take he game to OT. The Jets won the coin toss and drove down the field, but were stopped by a supposedly weak Giant defense and settled for a field goal. (A TD would have ended it right there.) Of course all I could see was Eli Manning leading one of his patented ;ate game drives to win the game. Alas Eli got them as far as the Jet 31and their FG kicker missed and the Jets had an improbable victory. I'd like to think I've seen enough sports not to be shocked by anything, but this one shocked me to no end. Now I just hope they can beat either the Bills or the Patriots, I'm not expecting them to beat both. Who knows maybe I'll pray for it. 

Have a Great Week
       
          

Weekly Mail November 29, 2015

         A few days before Thanksgiving 1992, my mom was lamenting the way some of her co workers at the time were treating the holiday. Someone was having hot dogs as opposed to turkey, someone was going away to an island by themselves, stuff like that. Young  smart a$$ that I was back then, I told my mom had she put these thoughts to paper a few months earlier, they may have let her address the delegates at that year's Republican National Convention in Houston.
         Alas, now that I'm older, I appreciate more what my mom was really trying to say that day. The best part of these holidays is spending them with your family. And the traditions that get passed down from year to year make you remember the good times in your life, the fun times when you were a kid, and Thanksgiving meant 4 straight days off from school.
          This Thanksgiving was fun because I got to spend it with my side of the family. Tara unfortunately had to work, and I missed watching the parade with her and Timmy this year. So I ended up doing something else that sounded like a good idea at the time, but ended up being one of the dumbest things I've ever done.
            After I dropped Tara off at work, Tim and I had breakfast, and then we headed over to Oceanside Park. Earlier last week, I had gotten an e-mail from Oceanside Soccer inviting all the coaches and dads to participate in a soccer game 9:30 AM Thanksgiving morning. I figured it would be a bunch of the guys I coached with, and they would bring their kids and we would run around goofing off and having a good time. Last summer, Timmy was doing a soccer clinic in Rockville Centre every Thursday afternoon and just a couple weeks after I had gotten out of the hospital, they had a kids vs parents game to end up the season. It lasted like 10 minutes, we played on a tiny field and after myself and another dad scored goals, we let the kids get the next 3 and everyone was happy. (I was particularly happy that I could run a bit without having to go back to the hospital)

This was nothing like that.

          For starters, when I got to the field, there was NOBODY that I recognized. Most of the guys that were there were either fathers or coaches from the travel team, or alumni of the program. There wasn't anybody from the intramural program there except for one guy I knew who eventually showed up. There were exactly 24 of us there, enough for two full squads of 11 plus a goalie. And most of these guys were taking this game seriously. This would prove problematic because 1) I am still technically recovering and although I have been working out, I'm not in "run up and down a soccer field for 90 minutes" kind of shape. But more importantly, 2) I have never played in any organized soccer game in my life! And I don't care what anyone says, all of these guys at one time or another, played organized soccer, most likely in high school, maybe even in college. There were a few older guys who spoke Italian who probably have been playing for years.

I was screwed.

           For the most part the guys were understanding, having figured out I was out of my element. A couple of the guys acted like we were playing in the World Cup Final, but to be honest, I just felt embarrassed. And there was no running away, because if I left, our team would be a man down. I was praying someone else would show up, and then I'd sub out, grab Timmy and get the hell out of dodge. Poor Timmy at first had no one to play with because none of these guys brought their kids, which reminded me of the line from the 1993 film The Program, when the QB kept saying "Let's put the women and children to bed, and go looking for dinner." (Kevin Woods thought that was the best line in the history of cinema, I never quite got it, till last Thursday) Fortunately, a couple of kids showed up so the morning wasn't a total loss for him.

       As for me, when it mercifully came to an end, my team got demolished, and I was hurting something awful. As of this writing, my legs still feel like lead. The good news is, even though I was sucking wind most of the match, I didn't feel any chest pain, so there's always that. Oh, well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

NEWS ITEM: Black Friday Madness

           It happens every year. The store doors open at some ungodly hour on Black Friday, and almost immediately, people get trampled, fights break out, arrests are made and scores of people get hurt and some even get killed. You can set your watch by it. I got to work at 8 AM on Friday, and I already had a CNN alert saying that a riot had broken out at a mall in Kentucky. In another incident in Saginaw, Michigan, a woman grabbed a vegetable steamer from a defenseless little girl. There were several other incidents as well. The cities may change, but the stores and the stories are the same thing. Every year.

           And yet, every year, starting from mid-November on, the commercials bombard out TV's every night. The Black Friday 50% off sale. Doors open at 5 no 4, no how about MIDNIGHT! on Black Friday. Every year it gets worse.
          
           Used to be, the media referred to the day after Thanksgiving as Black Friday. Stores didn't actually advertise the day as Black Friday. Everyone knew it was the busiest shopping day of the year, just for the fact that many folks either had the day or took the day off. It was a good chance to get a head start on your Christmas shopping.

          But now, you see the obnoxious commercials. And what's worse, there are now stores that open late Thanksgiving night or worse are open all day on Thanksgiving, for those folks like the ones my mother was talking about, all those many years ago. There were a couple of memes on Facebook saying that nobody bats an eyelash when firefighters cops and medical people have to work on Thanksgiving, but we all get upset when someone has to work at Wal-Mart. That's missing the point. The above mentioned professions are vital services needed everyday of the week. Nobody needs to get a vegetable steamer on Thanksgiving, and certainly no one needs to beat up a kid to get their hands on one.

            Look, I get it OK. I know in this country, the business of business is business. I know that it's a jungle out there. But I also know that family and tradition are important. And I just can't help but wonder, if these stores maybe backed off on their in your face advertising, stayed closed on Thanksgiving, opened at a reasonable hour on Friday, we wouldn't have a lot of the bull$h-t we have had the past few years.

That's about all I got this week folks.

Have a Great Week!